Whether or not she takes the photos, she makes the rules.  Here are a few ways to make her feel a little more comfortable with it.

Make sure she “knows” that whatever is taken will be kept between the two of you.  As much as she loves your buddies, I’m sure she would prefer them NOT to see her in skimpy clothes and suggestive poses.

These pics are for your eyes only! (Not to mention the fact that if she’s under 18, those pics could equal some serious trouble.)

When she’s snapping the photos, it’s up to her to determine how she wants to tease you.  If she’s not willing to take it all off, don’t force the subject.  Be happy with lacy bras and stockings… they’re just a taste of what you’ll get, and when you see her you won’t want to take your hands off of her

If you’re the photographer, make her feel like she’s a star.  She may be into having her own personal photo shoot… the better she feels, the more she will reveal!  Tell her how hot she looks…. You never know what this little adventure will lead to!

Oh and feel free to reciprocate… Guys aren’t the only ones that want a little reminder to look back on!

Have any of your exes ever hit you up?  Be honest, did you ignore them?  You really can’t tell her who she can be friends with.  That would mean that either you’re insecure, or she can’t be trusted. What you can do is make her realize that being with you is better than it ever was with him.  You need to put a little effort into it make her see that your relationship is more fun, more exciting, and more satisfying.  If this doesn’t work, then you’re going to have to talk to her.  Be honest.  Tell her that the situation makes you uncomfortable.  If she really cares about you, then she should respect your feelings and cool it with the other guy.

If she doesn’t stop, who’s to say that she isn’t just keeping him around as a back-up?   She obviously still cares for him.   She may tell you that she doesn’t want to hurt his feelings, but what about your feelings?  Bottom line, if you tell her the truth about how the situation makes you feel and she doesn’t care, it’s not gonna work.  She’s sacrificing a great future with you for someone from the past.

She isn’t psychic – you have to tell her!  She may be so used to acting a certain way with her friends and doesn’t realize that what she’s doing bothers you.  Tell her that its hurts you to see her flirting with other guys.  She should appreciate the honesty, and be more aware of what she’s doing.  If she’s deliberately flirting with other guys around you, then she’s just being malicious.

She’s doing it to piss you off, maybe make you jealous…guess what, it works. If you mention it and she keeps at it, forget her.  She’s never going to respect you.  Do you really want that girl anyway?

Here is how to step up to the plate and be the one to throw the ultimate party…

THE VENUE

If you plan on inviting tons of people, make sure you find a spot with lots of space (a big basement or backyard is a plus) where they can cause minimal damage. Cleary, if you’re still living with mom & dad, your house is NOT the ideal spot (unless they’re cool with drunken college kids all over the place, then by all means, carry on).  The place you pick is ultimately the deciding factor of how many people you should invite.  There will probably be a rotation of people coming in and out, but some of your hardcore party goers will stick around until the keg is dry.

GUEST LIST

How many people do you want there? Facebook is a great tool because you can reach a ton of friends and also keep a running headcount. BUT, be careful how you advertise, because you may end up with your girlfriend’s entire sorority at your door – which may or may not be a bad thing

PREP WORK

Before the party starts, make sure you clear out anything that you don’t want touched or broken. This is also the time to stash anything dangerous – footballs, baseball bats, anything that will tempt people to do something stupid.  Ice, cups, and mixers are always important – make sure you have enough so no one has to make the drunk walk to the corner deli to replenish supplies.  If you plan on playing beer pong, make sure someone brings the balls!  Also, make sure you have plenty of garbage bags for clean-up.

SECURITY

There’s no way to keep the under-21s out, so you need to take some precautions to make sure that they don’t get outta hand.  As the host, you just won’t have the time to make sure no one does anything crazy.    Find some friends who are willing to help you keep the peace & kick out the trouble makers before the neighbors call the cops.

BOOZE

If you don’t have the means to splurge, make it BYOB… admission to the party requires something to drink.  If you have the cash to lay out, have someone sell cups at the door.  $5 will get you a cup and admission – if you don’t pay, you don’t drink.  Guys, you know you need the ladies there… consider letting them in free to make sure they show up!  Also, make sure you have a variety of beverages– beer is always a must, but no ones gonna complain about a big bucket of jungle juice.

ENTERTAINMENT

If you don’t have music, you don’t have a party!  Make sure the music is pumping to keep people in the party mood.  If there’s enough space, set up tables for beer pong/ flip cup tournaments.  Keep a deck of cards around for other games, like kings or suck & blow.

CLEAN UP

If you’re anal retentive and you want to follow your guests all night to collect bottles and cups, you’re gonna miss the party!  Unless the trash gets in the way of the fun, worry about it tomorrow.  The poor souls that pass out on your floor get the job of clean-up.  Guests, if you find yourself in the position, it is an unspoken rule that you are responsible to help clean the house – no questions! The fact that you didn’t spend the night on the curb should be reason enough!

AFTERMATH

Enjoy! Take a shower, figure out whose number is written on your arm in sharpie, get some breakfast, check out the 5000 Facebook notifications & tagged photos.  Remember, if you feel like there’s anything compromising in those pics, set your profile to private.  You don’t need your new boss thinking you spend every weekend in a toga.  See the endless comments about how amazing your party was. 

Bask in the glory… and don’t forget to thank The Campus Throne!

When a girl leads you on, you really need to man up and take some initiative!  Take the risk and tell her that you like her.  Let her know that you want to be more than just friends.  I know it’s hard to put your feelings out there – it’s natural to fear rejection.  But, if you don’t say anything, you risk losing her for sure.  Maybe she feels the same way about you, but she’s nervous.

What’s the worst that can happen?  If she likes you, you got yourself a new girlfriend.  If she doesn’t, then you just stopped wasting your time.  You may have potentially let the girl of your dreams walk right by because you have your head in the clouds about this chick.  Have your friends been telling you to make a move? Take their advice.  You may not see it, but when outside parties think that you need to do something about your situation, its OBVIOUS.

DISTANCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER

Whether you go to different schools, or live in the same dorm building, it’s safe to say that a little bit of distance is healthy. If you go to the same school, do yourself a favor and register for different classes. It may be ok to share one or two classes, but don’t make your schedules identical. I can tell you from experience that you’ll get tired of that REAL quick. Odds are, at first, you’ll be thrilled to spend so much time with your hunny. But, what happens when you have an argument? Or when you start slacking? She’s isn’t going to be too happy with the fact that she’s doing all the work and you’re just coasting along.

BALANCE YOUR INTERESTS

You each have your own individual interests. Does she want to join a sorority, while you’re more interested in student government? Understand that you have to do your own thing – explore your own individual interests, and be encouraging to your girl. Keep in mind the fact that you both need to support each others’ interests, whether or not you agree with them. Don’t like the fact that she’s pledging? Let her know (in a nice way) that you’re unhappy with the situation, and talk to her about it. Help her see the situation from your point of view, but NEVER tell her that she can’t do something, or that she’s forbidden to join any particular group. As long as she isn’t getting hurt or arrested, she’s free to do what she wants. Tell her she can’t and she’ll absolutely resent you. Embrace your curiosities and let her explore hers.

MAKE TIME FOR EACH OTHER

Ok, so you’re doing your thing in class – making friends, hanging out. You’ve gotten involved with the activities that you both find interesting and rewarding. Remember that you’re still dating! While you each want the other to meet your friends and hang out as one big happy group, make sure you still make time for each other. Go out on a date, spend a Sunday in your dorm catching up on movies you wanted to watch. Both of you love a certain TV show? Have a standing “date” every week – a time where you guys get together and chill while sharing something you both enjoy.

BOTTOM LINE

If it’s worth it to you, you’ll do what it takes to make it work. It’s going to be difficult at times, but in the end, you’ll be glad you went for it. You’ve got a built in support system there – even when things get a little rough, you know that you’ll always have someone on your side! You’ve made memories together. You understand each other’s highs and lows & you’re comfortable.

But what if it’s just too hard? If it’s just too much, it may be better in the long run for you to end on good terms and just enjoy your college life. It’s a tough situation to deal with, but trust me, it’ll get easier over time. Who knows? Maybe a little time apart will help you understand what really makes you happy.

Wait!, There is hope.  Here are a few of my own recommendations:

CHEAP THRILLS

Hit up a playground one afternoon. Swings, slides, sprinklers…. What better way to enjoy a summer day!  Cool down later with some ice cream… and maybe a cold shower

HEAD TO THE BEACH

Challenge her to a volleyball game, Frisbee, soccer (hey, now she’s running around in a bikini for you). Feeling creative? Build a sandcastle together or let her bury you in the sand. So what if she shapes you into a mermaid? Use that as an excuse to lead her into the water for a little more fun.

GO TO AN AMUSEMENT PARK

Get cozy on the ferris wheel, share some cotton candy, share the thrill of the roller coasters! Play a game and win her a prize… no girl can resist the carnival game teddy bear! See how many rides it takes before she falls into your arms

ADVENTURE ON THE HORIZON

Take her out on a boat – get your flippy floppies! Just make sure that this ride is a little more romantic than a trip with T-Pain. Think sailing in the sun, or a romantic nighttime excursion with your girl. Trust me, you’ll have her in the palm of your hand.

How about a ride in a hot air balloon? With a little Google magic I’m sure you can find a local listing. Its romantic, but not too cheesy. It may be a little pricier than the other suggestions, but I’m sure you’ll get lots of oohs and ahhhs out of her.

ROMANTIC ENCOUNTERS

Ok, I’ll admit, sometimes a girl does want a guy to sweep her off her feet. How about a day at the museum? (I can hear the groans already) Keep it interesting by spending the day at a fun spot – like the aquarium… we’re suckers for baby animals! Or how about a hands-on museum? Maybe those hands will be on you!

BUST A MOVE

No one expects you to perform like you’re on Dancing with the Stars, but if your girl is interested, sign up for a dance lesson. Even if you’ve got two left feet, the fact that you gave it a try will leave her looking for a little dirty dancing later on. Who knows? You may even have a little fun.

Coming soon… real date stories!

What’s the issue with her friends? Are they all guys, and that makes you uncomfortable?  Are they bad influences that just want to bar hop on the weekends and pick up guys?  Do they want to hang out with her so much that she doesn’t have any time to spend with you?  If she’s hanging out with the boys all the time, ask her how she would feel if you spent your weekends with a bunch of girls.  If she says she doesn’t care, test the waters. Let her see you chillin with a group of chicks and see how she likes it.  I’m almost positive she won’t be too thrilled.  Do her girls drag her out to bar after bar on the weekends?  She can’t help it if she’s not single.  Tell her that you miss her, and you want to spend more time with her.  Let her know that while you understand that she has to support her friends, you’re an important part of her life too.  You can’t tell her not to hang out with them, but make it clear that you want more time with her.

Do her friends want to spend every waking moment with her?  This is a sticky situation, especially if her friends are single.  They may feel threatened by you – you’re the one taking their friend away from them.  Tell your girl that you want to see her more – explain to her that you know why they love spending so much time with her, but its your turn.  She’ll feel so good about herself that she’ll make sure she limits the girl time.  If you have the opportunity, talk to her friends.  Try to arrange things as a group – your friends and her friends can all get together without feeling like you’re choosing one over the other.   You’ll never come between a girl and her friends, but you can open her eyes.  Let her see what she’s missing when she’s not with you.

We say: It’s a little chilly in here.

We mean: Come over here and warm me up!

We say: Aww, you shouldn’t have!

We mean: Yes you should have… and you’ve just earned some brownie points

We say: I don’t know what I’m doing tonight.

We mean: Ask me to do something with you.

We say: Come over – we can hang out, watch a movie.

We mean: I have more than a movie in mind

We say: I’ll be ready in a minute.

We mean: I’m already ready, but I’m gonna make you wait a little longer.

We say: I have nothing to wear!

We mean: I need an excuse to go shopping.

We say: I’m fine!! (in a bar)

We mean: I’m DRUNK!

We say: I’m fine (in any other situation).

We mean: There’s obviously something bothering me, and chances are it involves you.

We say: Is that what you’re wearing  tonight?

We mean: I hate what you’re wearing – please change!

We say: No, I don’t mind that you talk to her.

We mean: Of course it bothers me if you talk to her! I hate when you talk to other girls.

We say: I just need some space.

We mean: I need space without you in it.

We say: Can we slow things down a little?

We mean: I’m not having sex with you.

We say: I’m not ready for a boyfriend right now.

We mean: I don’t want you to be my boyfriend.

We say: We’re such good friends… you’re like a brother to me.

We mean: You don’t have a shot in hell – you’re in the friend zone.

Ok there could be a number of reasons behind this.  Maybe she’s insecure about herself; or maybe she’s just REALLY into you and doesn’t realize what she’s doing.  If your girl feels like she’s not getting enough attention, she may start to think that she’s not good enough, and if given the opportunity, you may stray.  If you never reinforce the fact that you’re totally into her, she’ll take every guy’s night out and Facebook message to mean that you’re looking for someone else.  I’m not saying you have to shower her with gifts and profess your love every minute (honestly, that may freak her out even more lol and if it doesn’t, then you have bigger issues to deal with).  Throw her a compliment every once in a while, text her just to say hi, try to pay attention to the little things (ex. show her that you noticed her new haircut).  By showing her that she’s on your mind, she should ease up a little bit.

Has she told you about an ex that cheated on her?  If so, then she’s gonna be on her guard.  She’s been hurt before, and she’s probably trying to make sure that it doesn’t happen again.  If this is the case, you have to talk to her.  Let her know that you understand how she feels and that she has nothing to worry about.  She has to trust you.  If she can’t do that, then maybe she isn’t the right girl for you.

Are you her first real boyfriend? If so, she may not realize that she’s being clingy.  She doesn’t understand the boundaries yet.  Let her know that while you love spending time with her, it’s important that you don’t neglect your other relationships.   This may seem counter-productive, but invite her one night when you’re hanging out with the boys.  After a night of ESPN and XBOX, I think she’ll get the hint that there are more fun ways to pass the time.  No offense guys, but I’m sure she’d rather catch a movie with her friends than sit around and listen to you go on and on about your fantasy football team. Encourage her to plan time with her girl friends.  Its healthy to spend time apart, and when you eventually plan something together, it will be that much more exciting.

Bottom Line:

Be honest with her, and reassure her.  A little bit of jealousy is healthy, but if she takes it ti the extreme, its probably not the best relationship to be in.  No matter how much you tell her, she has to realize for herself that she’s being needy and possessive.  Sometimes time apart is the only way to paint a clear picture.

For more on dealing with clinginess, we found this site to be the most useful.