Course: Finance

*Note: This method requires use of a calculator. This means that this method would only be useful in a class that requires use of a calculator. *

Being a man of my word, I walked in the room and took a desk for this finance class. I felt confident and fine and really didn’t give a shit if I got caught because I wasn’t even a registered student for this class. So I sit down, and right when I make myself comfortable, the teacher starting taking attendance, and just like that I felt my testicles shrink. Luckily, the teacher didn’t notice that I did not belong and I felt a little relieved, but still paranoid.

Preparation: 3 out of 10

I was given a “formula sheet” for the formulas needed on this exam. Still, it was a bitch and a half to write them down. I used the ‘ALPHA’ key on a TI-83 calculator and simply typed in everything that was on the formula sheet and it took forever. On top of that, there is no “next line” button or anything to make matters easier, so I practically had to study the fucking lingo and abbreviations I made up, as well. A serious pain in the ass and got forbid you make a mistake. I made a mistake 3/4 through the entire sheet and pressed clear to go back one space.

Note: Clear cleans the whole mother fucking thing!

Ease of Read: 6 out of 10

As easy and legible as it may be to read typed digital letters on a calculator, I didn’t understand my own coding. The thing is that you can only really type certain characters and not equal signs or some other needed symbols. The hard part wasn’t reading the digital writing, but reading the damn code that I created learning to write the damn thing.

Stealth: 7 out of 10

For the most part, the teacher didn’t notice anything. Occasionally, she would look up at the room from her desk and I would get a little nervous, but I was in good shape. If the teacher was one to patrol the room, then I would have probably been in deeper shit.

Teacher Awareness: 4 out of 10

This lazy ass teacher didn’t do shit. She sat at her desk the whole time, probably grading papers for her other classes. At the same time, whenever she did glance up at the room, my heart would ricochet throughout my ribcage.

Final Consensus: C. It was a bitch and a half to prepare for, I felt like I worked for the government when I had to crack the damn code to understand my own writing in the calculator, and if the teacher would have asked the class to clear their calculators and asked us, I’d be fucked. I highly suggest taking the half-hour that it would take to type in the damn formulas and just use it to crap and study the information instead.

Final Grade: TBD