Cheating on exams – Methods of a cheater: Writing on a necktie

Published on Thursday, May 7, 2009 by Campus King

Course: Communications

This experience sucked as a whole and I write this as I am about to throw up or take a shit on the bathroom outside of the classroom. I hate wearing ties. I felt like I was going to a fucking communion or something. Not only that, there were hot girls in the room and the teacher was hot. I felt like they were all looking at me like “Oh, who is this douche wearing a tie?”

Preparation: 2 out of 10

The idea here was to write on a small piece of paper, cut into a vertical strip. After you write whatever was needed, you wrap the strip of paper around the inner-tag of the tie. The cheat sheet is then on the tie, but on the part of the tie that is facing you; therefore, nobody else would see it, and no cheat sheet would fall to the ground if a teacher asked you to stand up. It was annoying enough to write on that small ass piece of paper. Since I’m a dumb ass, at first I tried writing vertical and got pretty pissed off because I’m not Chinese and the English language is written horizontally. Then, I made another sheet and wised up to writing horizontally on the vertical strip of paper. Measuring, cutting, then taping the paper against the tie was a ridiculous bitch. Aside from just being tedious work, it took a shit ton of tape to keep the paper attached to the tie.

Ease of Read: 1 out of 10

It is hard enough to read small ass writing. On top of that, to have to strategically have the tie resting on your desk with your cheat sheet facing up is a royal bitch. It did make it easier to cover your tracks, though if you just lean back and your tie falls back into place. Nonetheless, having to try to read the small writing, while resting the tie the right way, while scrolling the small roll of cheat sheet was annoying.

Stealth: 1 out of 10

Long story short: I got caught. I probably would have been able to pull it off better if I was calmer and more collected, but seriously…I’m not James Bond. I had the tie a certain way that made it easy to read, and as the teacher made her rounds I would lean back to conceal the cheat sheet. When she returned to her desk, I would put the tie back to “reading position.” I think she caught on to the trend and asked me to come up to the front with my exam. She took the exam and said “thank you, have a nice summer.” She was nice to not flip out, but my heart was in my throat and I just walked out.