The Super Bowl. Another excuse in the first month of the year to get wasted and behave like a raging asshole. We’ve all attended at least one of said parties, and the same people always seem to show up.
V. THE FRIEND WHO THINKS HE IS ON SPORTSCENTER
This guy would have a life long career if there were no such thing as televisions. Or nfl.com. Or radios. Or if people were blind and he somehow was the only person on the face of the planet with eyes. That’s a whole different problem though. This guy will break down every play that you see so you can understand it just as easy as he does. What’s so annoying about him is that if a team has an incomplete pass or gets a turnover, he suddenly turns into (insert longest winning streak coach here, I dont watch football like that) and discusses why they should’ve picked (formation) and went for it. Or some shit like that. Frequently seen calling the games outcome before it’s over, and throwing up his hands and swearing loudly.
IV. THE GUY WHO CAN’T HOLD HIS LIQUOR
You came to enjoy some quality time with your closest friends, drink some beer and enjoy some meat hot off the grill. He came to get wasted. And enjoy the Super Bowl game as well, but that’s a distant second to seeing just how much beer he can pour down his throat into his stomach, only to punch a hole in the wall or start vomiting and pass out before Halftime.
If the sport has teams, there will be rivals. These two are usually friends, but when the game comes on the gloves come off. They may not even talk to each other during the duration of the game. If it’s the Super Bowl, expect blood to be spilled, or a beer. Most likely both. It’s funny to watch them go at it though, so there’s a plus side to having rivals at your party.
Did they just score a home run? Is Karl Malone playing at the second half? One of the questions this person asks will leave you scratching your head, wondering why they even came. Perhaps it was the free food and alcohol, but this person is still out of his element. Educate him though, and have yet another friend to swell your ranks of alcohol consuming chicken wing devouring buddies.
I. THE SORE LOSER
It’s the end of the game, but the festivities are far from over. You came for some extended drinking and dammit you’re getting your livers’ worth. This guy however will stick around only to argue with anyone who talks about his team losing. It’s fun to poke and prod at him, saying snide remarks just to watch him over react and basically cry about it. Watch out though, he may try to throttle you.
With people like these characters at Super Bowl parties, it’s added fun; not only do you get to get trashed and watch All American heroes pummel each other, you get to make fun of these jokers in the process.