It’s not even Summer and already shit is hitting the fan in the year 2010. In particular Golf’s greatest asset, Tiger Woods, came under fire for having an affair. All I can say is watch that episode of South Park, because they hit the nail on the head perfectly. You mean to tell me…that when a man’s rich and famous he’ll use these things to have sex with as many women as possible?! Genius. Here’s some things he’s taught us already.

SEXTING CAN BE USED AGAINST GUYS TOO

I haven’t received any sext messages sadly, but just like possession of crack or a loaded firearm, they’re dangerous. Tiger should’ve dumped all the pics onto his computer, or if he was real smart he would’ve just not gotten caught. But hey everyone makes mistakes.

DON’T CHEAT IF YOUR GIRL KNOWS HOW TO SWING A CLUB

Men use Golf as an excuse to get away from their significant others, but when they can drive a ball just as far/farther than you, it’s time to re-evaluate your life. Mr. Woods may be Golf’s greatest, but he should’ve opted for a woman who thought a Birdie was just that.

GIRLS HAVE BIG MOUTHS

This one is pretty obvious too. Sorry ladies, but if you have a secret you’d literally have to be killed before you tell it to as many people as possible. I can easily picture a girl saying “Oh and I shouldn’t even be saying this but..” If you shouldn’t be saying it, then why are you yappin’? We’re looking at you Jaimee Grubbs.

DENY UNTIL YOU DIE

If you did something wrong and no one caught you, would you admit to doing it? Well I do hear that if you murder someone sometimes you feel so guilty you have to tell someone, but this is different. Even though there was evidence of his affairs, so maybe this isn’t a good lesson. Well no, it is. Deny it. And have affairs with women who will be discreet.

DON’T GET CAUGHT

M i rite? If you’re going to do some dirt, make sure you’ve got all your bases covered. It doesn’t mean much to the common folk like you and I, but for a celebrity (and as we’ve seen) scandals like this can make or break your life. Probably not for Woods though, he’s going to be in the Masters and he’s probably going to destroy everyone else. He may not be the greatest ever, but his stats speak for themselves.

Well gentleman, I’m up for a round of mini putt putt. Who’s got the Arnold Palmer? I’ve got the sweater vests and dozen mistresses.