Get the Girl: Picking Up Girls at the Beach

You’re finishing up those papers and exams that your professors have piled on right before Spring Break. The only thing on your mind is getting to the beach and meeting some sexy coeds.  On top of that little taste of heaven, it’s getting hotter out by the day. Girls are wearing their skirts and tank-tops. Soon enough, you’ll be seeing them all in their bathing suits. While the great gods of Spring Break will make picking up girls as easy as hunting at the zoo or fishing in a fish tank, this article will expand your beach-game to have you ready for a warm spring and hot summer.

Although it is my job to turn you into a charismatic charmer, I highly suggest working out to have your body beach ready. Not sure how? Check out some of our workout articles. If there is one thing we’d like you to remember and realize, it would be that girls look at muscles the way that we look at breasts. We won’t ignore a girl without them and we won’t mention it or complain, but at the same time…having them is a difference-maker and puts you in a new league.

Anyway, let’s get down to business. You’re supposed to be a man of charisma, a man of smoothness. People should look at you and just smile, knowing you’re fun and cool to be around. From the drink in your hand, to the silence that carries over the room when you start to speak…all eyes are on you.

TOOLS

• You MUST bring a cooler to the beach. Fill your cooler with good drinks, not Costco brand water. When (not if) you bring a girl over to your section of the beach, having something to offer her is key.
• Bring a ball. Something to play with, something active. If you’re hunting for milfs and cougars, their little kids will come and ask to play with you, which sets you up gloriously. If you’re aiming to pick up college girls, they get bored easily and will ask to play. We recommend bringing a volleyball. Why? Because it’s easy to play, girls love it, and it’s laid back and fun. On top of that, it doesn’t put you and the girl 20 yards away from each other the way that a football, soccer ball, or baseball would. Being closer to each other means more conversation, more laughing, more interaction, and more comfort.

BREAKING THE ICE

There is no need for me to tell you that you should have a slight grin and smile on your face the majority of the time. People should look at you and think “great time.” Luckily for a stalker like you, it seems perfectly normal to just wander around the beach. Therefore, while you are smiling and taking a stroll, you’ll be seeing women that may be doing the same. Upon making eye contact with them, calmly say “I was going to wear the same bathing suit as you…it’s a good thing I didn’t because then we’d have problems.” Say it clear and make sure you are heard because if she says “say it again, I didn’t hear you” you’re going to feel slightly awkward. When she hears your ice breaker, I promise you…she’ll be smiling. Follow-up with a friendly “next time we may have to schedule to make sure we don’t end up matching.” Ice = shattered.

 PLANTING THE SEED

Next time you cross paths with her, bring her a nice cold drink from your cooler. Tell her you “overstocked your cooler and thought you’d share your drinks with her.” Then playfully explain “just to make this clear, I’m offering you a drink…I’m not buying you a drink. You’re not really the type of girl I’d buy a drink for.” Make sure you smile while saying that or you may end up with a flip-flop across the face.

She’ll either laugh it off or say “oh yeah, what type of girl do you buy drinks for.” And this is where you explain that she shouldn’t take offense, you just buy drinks for fun girls who earn it (…pause…) by playing volleyball with you. She’ll then laugh at your double entendre and even if she doesn’t play with you…she is laughing and you have a gentle/fun bond with this smoking hot bikini babe.

Whether she plays or not…you need to leave soon. Simply say “thanks for entertaining me during my day at the beach. I love coming here and my friend that I used to go with me recently moved. If you ever need a ride to the beach or a person to go with, just scream my name at the top of your lungs or call me.”  

This will then go one of two ways:

• She will ask for your number or offer hers.
• She will just crack up, which is also fine.

Not only did you spend the day with a hot girl at the beach, but the odds are greatly in your favor that you will see her again at the beach. Not only do most people always drive to the same section of the beach where they are familiar, but they usually look to put their towel down in the same vicinity too. Your time spent talking to her is an investment for the next time you cross paths, and is also practice for you pulling game on the next girl.

SECURITY

If ever, you see that a girl you have been hitting on has a boyfriend. Quickly shift the conversation to “anyway, I’ve been trying to find my girlfriend…have you seen her? Tall, thin, dark hair, light eyes, etc.” When the boyfriend approaches, he’ll see that you were just asking a friendly question and you can then even ask the boyfriend if he “saw your girlfriend.” This will save you from any confrontations.

…Make me proud

Tagged as: campus casanova, college, get the girl, pick up girls beach, summer