Hot for Teacher: How to Score with a College Professor

by Campus Casanova on May 7, 2010

First off: know that as much as we want you to score, we can not do everything for you.  Our goal is to get you wide open and pass you the ball, for us to draw up a play leaving you wide-open in the endzone for a perfect spiral.  From there, the play-making is up to you…

We have all had those hot teachers before.  Usually, we fantasize about them.  Sometimes, we hear they hooked up with one of the students and raise our eyebrows thinking “that guy!?”. Rarely, “that guy” is you.

INTRODUCE YOURSELF EARLY

Hot for Teacher

When the semester starts, stop by the teachers desk after class and just say you wanted to introduce yourself.  Let her know your name, what your major is, and then ask her a couple questions like where she went to school and what she studied (besides education).  If you sense some comfort on her part, then take it a step further. Use some double entendres and drop some key-words to get her thinking a little bit.

I can imagine what it’s like the first day teaching a new class.  It always seems like the teacher is on a first date or something, they aren’t sure what to wear, what to talk about, what we’ll think of them.  Anyway, not to be a kiss-ass or anything close to that because as the semester goes on, you’ll see I’m anything but that, BUT if you need anything I’ve had a lot of classes with this group and I can help youo ut if you need anything.”

Why this is helpful: Even if your hot teacher did want to keep you after class, how could she ask you without making it obvious?  Offering to help her out or to lend an ear is significant because it is an invitation for the teacher to ask you to stay late a couple classes if she wants to.  Think of it this way: when you are going to score with someone, you don’t say “come to my place so I can score.” Instead, you say “come see my cool fishtank, or my crazy DVD collection” meanwhile, your victim knows they aren’t really going to your place to see your DVD collection. Ya dig?

SHOW YOU CAN KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT

Keep Your Mouth Shut

If you’re looking to get with a professor, keep your mouth shut in that class.  If she sees that you open your mouth and that you are loud and obnoxious and talk to everybody, she is going to be hesitant because she knows that more than likely, you will brag about your conquest underneath her libraian-esque outfits.  Laugh at jokes that you think are funny and keep to yourself.  The same way you’d want a younger chick to keep her mouth shut if you did something with her, you need to keep your trap closed OR at least show that you are capable of doing so.

BUILD RAPPORT

sexy-teacher

Build some rapport with the teacher and get her to talk about more than what goes on inside the classroom.  A big test or research paper coming up? Jokingly tell her “I hope you get to go out this weekend and have a good time to balance out the 500 hours you’ll spend grading those.”  Then a couple days after the due date: “so did you wind up getting to go out and shake off some of the stress?”

Tip: If that move is too ballsy for you, tell the teacher that you have a funny story to tell her.  Then after class, tell her that you went to [insert upscale older venue here] and thought you saw her there.  So you walked up to who you thought was her and by the time you realized that it wasn’t her, it was too late and you wound up having a couple of drinks and a conversation with some stranger.

GO FOR THE KILL

Hot for Teacher

At midterms or the end of the semester, jokingly tell the professor that you owe her a drink for making it this far, but she’s not allowed to tell anybody about it because then the paparazzi will follow you around.  Pay very close attention to her reaction and you will either get a playful response, an invitation to do so when the semester is over, or a laugh and a small push in the opposite direction.  From there, take whichever path she opens up to you.

DON’T RUIN IT

Play it smooth

When you do score, keep you’re mouth shut.  No matter how cool you think you are, bragging and talking about it is not a good idea.  You can get that teacher in serious trouble and also ruin a legendary hook-up.  So do what you can and bask in the glory and enjoy it, but be sure not to brag and make an ass out of yourself.

Make me proud…

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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

Rebecca September 1, 2009 at 9:32 am

Urm… or wait until they aren’t your teacher any more (and you’re of legal age) and then attempt to date them.

I notice your article was all for the boys who want to date their female teachers. Where is the commentary for women who want to date their male teachers?

No…?

This article is unethical, it has some good pointers, but seriously suggesting that someone attempt to bed their teacher is insane. If all works out well, the teacher is put under pressure to mark the student well. If all goes terribly, what happens to the student’s marks? Let alone, if any of this ever is made public, the reputation of the teacher or the student?

These things are best left to after you are no longer in the teacher’s class and you’re both free and consenting adults to do what you like.

Oh and stuff like, “The same way you’d want a younger chick to keep her mouth shut if you did something with her” is distasteful and sexist.

Campus Casanova September 1, 2009 at 10:03 am

Now this may just be me, but it kinda looks like this site is a guide for college guys.

That aside, this article also doesn’t take the approach of explaining to do something the way that you may feel is ethical, but it explains ways of doing things that are honest and effective. Not honest like Captain America, but honest like what really does happen.

So, you want to know how to score with a male teacher, but dating your teacher is unethical. Apparently, although making counter points seemed necessary it looks like you are doing the work for me :-)

By dating a younger girl, we mean a 22 year old dating a 19 year old. Not the thoughts or experiences that you may be rendering when reading this article. Regardless of what you may feel is ethical or sexist, some students to sleep with their teachers.

For further reading to sites that I think may be to your liking, may I suggest the following:
http://www.oprah.com
http://theview.abc.go.com/
http://www.hillaryclinton.com/

P.S.- Have I seen you on craig’s list before?

Kara September 1, 2009 at 12:15 pm

Wow….best comments of all time.

I didn’t find the article sexist or unethical really. I understood the tone and manner that it was written in tho, but I can I can understand if someone would? Maybe if it was their first time on the site.

Ryan September 1, 2009 at 8:18 pm

Ohhhh damn. I learned 2 things from this article: Scoring my teacher. Never messing with Casanova. Ahahaha

Anonymous September 19, 2009 at 12:21 am

epic article, saving this shit for sure also Rebecca, stfu?

Campus King September 20, 2009 at 10:24 pm

I almost want to frame these comments…

The Real College Guide September 30, 2009 at 11:58 am

Academic Affair: Beware! — How personal should you get with your professors? Find out in this article. http://therealcollegeguide.com/feature/dating_a_professor/index.html

I'm going for it February 14, 2010 at 12:00 am

Man, whatever. Semester is barely starting and this girl (teacher’s aide) is just too much of what I want in a life partner, and I really don’t mean that as in the posibility of having great sex (or butt sex for that matter [although she does have a nice body, now that I think about it]). I know she is atracted to me -even if it’s just a bit- so I merely hope she is impressed by my huge balls when I plain and simply tell her to go out with me this monday.
Women are still impressed by huge balls, right?

Go for the gold. February 14, 2010 at 7:18 pm

Yes, they are definitely still impressed by courage. Just be cautious with your delivery and let us know how it goes…

A Teacher October 15, 2010 at 12:22 am

After 2 years in the classroom one of my students finally had the balls to make a move (after at least 5 pining so clearly and silently I could see my clothes flying off in their beady little eyes whenever I spoke with them). I have no interest in this student…never do, something about the teacher-student relationship makes them feel like my kids and therefore never banging material. That said, the principles set forth in this article are spot-on. When you try to hook up with the college professor you are asking them to throw away their life for a piece of ass–your ass–and the bottom line is even the hottest ass isn’t worth our reputation and income. It’s just laughable.

Props to the authors for recognizing this and providing the closest thing there is to a way around it.

Funny article November 10, 2010 at 4:37 pm

Honestly, a female student wouldn’t have to do any of this to land a male professor, and a male student doesn’t have a shot in hell.

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