Movie Review: Jennifer’s Body

Quick, think of the worst movie you have ever seen in your life.  If you chose any movies that has Pauly Shore in it, give yourself a pat on the back.  But, boy do we have a movie that could be your new number one.

THE CAST

Jennifer’s Body is the brand new movie that stars Megan Fox.  Now if you don’t know who Megan Fox is you might want to get out a little more.  She’s been on every magazine cover, TV show and blog for the last six months.  When photos of her naked surfaced online it caused websites to crash.  But no even the “hottest girl in the world” could save this piece of crap.

THE PLOT

The movie begins just like every other horror /comedy teen flick.  Jennifer (Megan Fox) and her best friend Needy (Amanda Seyfried) attend a high school in a town called Devil’s Kettle.  Jennifer is the head flag girl and Needy is an outcast in school but somehow these two are “best friends”.  One day Jennifer discovers a band on myspace named Low Shoulder and sees they are performing at a local bar that night.  At the show, Jennifer flirts with the lead singer who somehow believes the sluttiest girl in the bar is a Virgin.  While the band is playing, the bar mysteriously burns to the ground but Jennifer and Needy escape through a bathroom window.  As they stand in the parking lot watching the bar burn, Low Shoulder invites Jennifer to come with them and hang out.  Jennifer gets into the car against Needy’s will and drives off with them.

Later on that night, Jennifer shows up at Needy’s house covered in blood, spitting up blood and looking like she just got out of an orgy. Jennifer begins to throw up all over Needy’s floor and pins Needy against the wall and then runs off into the night.  The next day in school Needy sees Jennifer who miraculously looks fine.  Time goes on and Jennifer starts to look worse and worse until the day one of the students at the school gets eaten.  The next day Jennifer looks hot as hell.  The cycle repeats until Needy finds out what happened to Jen.  When Jennifer and Low Shoulder left the bar, Low Shoulder tied her down and sacrificed her to Satan.  What I am about to say I did not make up.  Low Shoulder wanted to sacrifice a virgin to Satan in order to get a record deal.  Yes you heard me right, the band wanted to sacrifice a hot virgin to Satan in order to become famous.  Come on, I’m sure the drunk homeless guy who lives down the street from where I work could come up with a better twist.  The big twist is Low Shoulder didn’t know is that Jennifer is not a virgin.  Since Jen is not a virgin, she becomes possessed by a demon that needs to feed on human flesh in order to stay alive.

SATANISM AND MARCHING BANDS?

This might be the worst script ever produced into a movie.  A girl is sacrificed to Satan in order for a band to get a record deal.  That’s the main focal point of the story.  To go along with a terrible story, the acting is equally as bad.  Megan Fox seems bored and uninterested in her role.  Amanda Seyfried tries her hardest to make you think she’s terrified of Jennifer but it almost comes off as laughable.  The rest of the cast supports in making this the worst movie created in 2009.

ONE SHINING MOMENT

But, there is one good point in this movie that I must point out to you.  There is a scene in the movie where Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried make out.  This is definitely a scene you don’t want to miss.  But you can take a look on youtube or hulu to see it instead of paying for this atrocity.

RATING?

We here at Campus Throne give this movie a 1 out of 5.  The only thing that gave this movie one star is the fact that Megan Fox is in short shorts and tight tops through the whole movie.

Tagged as: jennifers body, Megan Fox, movie