Don't be a schmuck
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Hooray for Kwanzaa, and whatever other Winter Solstice-like holidays you’re celebrating this week. No doubt your week is going to be a hodge-podge of eating hearty meals with your family and/or getting together with friends at nice restaurants (or, not so nice place) and/or pulling some kind of end-of-year meals and parties with your co-workers and possibly your boss. In other words, this week you’re going to eating a whole hell of a lot. And it’s important that during these meals you don’t fuck it up by doing something terribly.
Which is why we’re pointing you towards this compelling article over at AskMen.com all about the most offensive things that someone can do at a restaurant. While a lot of these may seem like obvious faux pas, there are also a handful of offensive moves we didn’t even think were that offensive. Or, there are some that are so offensive it doesn’t even make sense that someone would think to do it. For example, this:
Live-blog your meal
You’ve heard the expression “Everyone’s a critic,” right? That isn’t just an empty slogan; it’s a set of instructions on how to live a fulfilled existence. That means if you didn’t have a good experience at a restaurant, it’s your sworn duty as an officer of the internet to get the word out. No slightly-less-than-stupendous dining experience should ever go unpunished. It’s the same idea behind holding your camera phone in the air the entire time you’re at a concert. If you don’t broadcast it to your social network, did it ever really happen?
Oh, man. If we ever see someone pulling that maneuver, don’t be surprised if you have trouble eating over the next few months with your jaw wired shut after us punching you hard, repeatedly, right in it. For more dinner no-nos, head over to the above link. And then take notes. Because we’re just WAITING to start punching people!
(Oh, happy holidays, once again, everyone.)
