It’s almost February 14th. For some guys, it’s the best day of the year. Spending all day with your girl and guaranteed action. For most of us, it’s the worst. Spending all day with your girl (watching shitty romantic-comedies) and guaranteed action (provided you wine and dine her). Here are some scenarios for us college guys put find ourselves in on or before that fateful day.
1. You settled for a girl you know that wants you so you could get laid
She isn’t in your league. Actually, you’re out of her league. But that didn’t stop you from turning your one night stand into 365 day one. When February 14th rolls around, you’re actually smiling. She pines over you whether or not you put a rock on her finger, and that night she was more than happy you gave her a pearl necklace.
2. You’re deadlocked and upset you need to buy her another gift
It’s been three years, and you still have to buy her gifts? What happened to unconditional love? To her it shows that your love for her is never ending, and so are your pockets. You might want to get out while you can, or just stop buying her gifts. You win your freedom, but lose poon. Choose wisely.
3. You’d rather be alone or with your friends downing your miseries
You’re single. But you aren’t the only one in your group of friends. Maybe one had a recent break up, or just don’t have a special lady in your life. When the 14th rolls around you can be found at the closest watering hole crying into your appletini, you bitch. Maybe that’s why you’re single.
4. You’re looking for a quick-fix on craigslist
Maybe you’re recently single, or she isn’t giving you any action. You hit up craigslist.org, and the last couple of keys you hit on your keyboard spell out “must be disease free” or something along those lines. Hey, we’ve all been there buddy. Those who haven’t are either happy with being single, happy with being whipped, or unhappy but won’t resort to random booty calls on craigslist. Besides, haven’t a couple of people been killed that way? Can’t be too safe nowadays?
5. You somehow wound up on a Valentine’s Day date “as friends”
Why’d you do it? We have no idea…maybe because you’re not reading our get the girl articles. Anyway, you have a cute friend who had no plans and you thought you’d score yourself some points by asking her out on a date as friends. You thought: “at least I’ll get a date out of it.” Dumbass! Enjoy the awkwardness when the check comes…
6. You realized the opportunities…
Millions of girls vulnerable and looking for love or a rebound? Oh, what ever shall you do? This situation tells us that you did read our get the girl articles and we’ll be expecting some awesome success stories in our inbox from you. Yes, this picture is our very own Campus Casanova.
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omg dumb nothing more i can say dumb