Arizona State University has one of the strongest reputations for partying hard. Aside from the endless funnels, pong tournaments and party stories, who can forget their insanely hot co-eds. We were in town for Playboy’s celebration that awarded Arizona State University as a lifetime honoree party school and we can honestly say that we did not see one unattractive girl. It was unreal. The clip is from the celebration and what went down. As far as images from the party, you can catch those here.

Playboy showed up with a smoking hot  handful of models, led by Playmate Crystal McCahill. Crystal is seriously on fire (see below).

CLICK IMAGE TO CHECK OUT HER GALLERY

Heads up: This piece of from Playboy’s underrated PlayboyU Channel.

By John DeVore

After 112 semesters of college, we know what we’re talking about when it comes to failing miserably at hooking up with the ladies. Learn from our mistakes, gentlemen. All you have to do is the opposite of these sage, hard-won tips, and you’ll be the campus ’Nanny Master.

10. Stack Your Facebook Page with Douchenozzle Pics

Why This Won’t Get You Laid: First of all, make sure you don’t have more pictures than you do friends. Secondly, make sure those pictures aren’t of you A) flashing gang signs, B) holding up a fan of cash money or C) lifting your shirt to reveal your six-, three- or no-pack. Lastly, if you have more than one picture of you heaving a giant bottle of vodka like a mighty scepter, then you might want to discover the delete function. It goes without saying that your MySpace page should not have been updated at all since you were 14.

9. Lock Yourself in Your Dorm Room

Why This Won’t Get You Laid: The first step to meeting women is to actually go out and meet them. Every great journey begins with one step and that is out the door. There is always that one guy who’s texting BFF Mommy about his new “experiences,” or is nobly committed to his Call of Duty 4 unit (thus neglecting his more important “unit”) or is crouching on his haunches in a dark corner, muttering about his “precious.” Not only does that guy not get any, he grows up to be that guy who collects baby doll heads and talks to his ferrets.

7. Reek Like Ass Jam and/or Mythological Beasts

6. Pass Out and Become a Human Canvas

Why This Won’t Get You Laid: Another way to never, ever crunch it with any human female is to publicly pass out and have an amateur Picasso decorate your grill with crude drawings of penises and testicles. Sadly, allowing yourself to wake up adorned with kaknbawls scrawled in Sharpie all over you does not a positive impression make. But you know this to be true. And if you don’t, then you’re in good company. The world is full of 22-year-old virgins who were known as “Sack Face” back in school.

5. Give Off That “To Catch a Predator” Vibe

Why This Won’t Get You Laid: Did she just glance over at you? Wait, twice? Is it because she thinks you’re cute, or is it because you’ve spent the past hour drilling holes in the back of her head with your supremely creepy rapey eyes? The answer is she’s terrified of you, and with good reason. Your social skills need some tweaking, son. Women do not like to be molested by drooling, emotional cripples and their X-ray vision. Get a grip. You’ll have a better chance of getting laid if you stare blankly at the wall.

4. They are not figurines, they are action figures

Why This Won’t Get You Laid: Congratulations, she came back to your place! The futon sheets are basically clean. Death Cab for Cutie is playing on iTunes. The incense is lit. Wolverine and the Joker have both been dusted, and sit prominently on…oh, come on, dude. They’re dolls, not collector’s items. She sees those, the next thing she’s imagining is you sitting in your tighty whiteys, playing with your tiny super people and giving them serious, macho voices. At the very least, buy a velvet-lined oak chest so you can store your little friends, if just for a night.

3. Projectile vomit during beer pong

Why This Won’t Get You Laid: You have proven your social worth with feats of amazingness. Truly, you are the Chuck Liddell of Beer Pong. But your pre-game of Gatorade and grain didn’t sit well with the Noah’s flood of beer you were quaffing. So now you’re a swamp donkey. The thick rope of vomit you then magically pulled out of your mouth might win you a prize with the other doddering piles of drunken humanity cheering you on, but the ladies? Not so much. Unless you plan on making out with a chick who likewise has a mouth full of dinner.

Spring Break is a time for all of us to kick back relax and let loose. School’s had us locked up for too long! Time to get out there and party! Fortunately and unfortunately, there are just some things you can’t avoid…

1. Getting Wasted

I mean let’s be real here. It’s Spring Break. If you DON’T get completely destroyed during Spring Break you’re obviously not relaxing at your full potential. Whether it be beer liquor or some other concoction that was brewed in a basement, Spring Break is open season on our livers. But then again so is every holiday.

2. Getting Baked

Pretty much the same thing as number one, but applies to marijuana. My first spring break freshman year of college, I was taking a piss and a guy walked up to me and literally put a lit joint in my mouth. While I thanked him and we got high, I probably should have asked him did he wash his hands. Or if the joint was laced with anything but hey, I’m still alive.

3. Run Ins With the Law

If you’re well versed in the art of drinking and smoking (especially in public places) expect to have a conversation with your “friendly” neighborhood police officers. Cops live for vacations for the public because 9 times out of 10 on any given day you can see some poor bastard getting handcuffed, albeit he’s not wearing any pants.

4. Getting Laid

For the scores of men that were successful, congratulations. For the ones that weren’t, keep trying. Girls want to get busy as much as guys do, and when the final class lets out of school inhibitions are a thing of the past. Maybe just for that week, but everyone wants to get lucky.

5. A Hangover

There isn’t much of an explanation to this one. Sunny weather + alcohol + drugs + no homework = a monster headache the next morning. Remember kids, moderation is key!

While Spring Break only comes around once a year, it’s a magical and special time for everyone who doesn’t have a job/college kids. Cherish it, because when we graduate it’s work work work.

Being in college you paid to get a piece of paper saying you’re qualified to do most things an intelligent Chimp could do. Maybe not Thermodynamics but you get the gist. Unfortunately for some of us college students, there are people in the class who didn’t come there to learn. Class to them is like an annex to their social life. I’ll split this one down the middle, five guys and five gals.

1. The Guy Who Comes To Class To Pick Up Girls

While this isn’t a problem at all, there’s a time for work and there’s a time for play. Seeing as how there’s no classes on Saturdays (unless your schedule/life completely sucks) class is the time for work. However this stud uses class time to try and pick up girls and usually fails miserably because he’s a jackass. I remember one time this kid was trying to impress a girl in our Psychology class. I was going to the bathroom and as I passed him he was like “Hey bro, we got a test today? Will it be hard?” I replied, “not if you studied… did you?” He scoffed and said “what do you think?” and turned to a girl he was chatting up for much needed validation. She gave him none. I ended up banging that girls brains out two days later. That last sentence isn’t true, though I wish it was… she was hot.

2. The Douchebag

By now the term douchebag has been overused and can apply to many types of people. I’m not going to narrow it down; every class has a douchebag. Whether he be a jock, some emo kid or that hipster kid who works on his novel in class while guzzling coffee, there’s always one. He’ll refute 90% of what the professor says with witty and usually arbitrary comebacks and rhetorical questions. Never mind the fact the professor has a Masters or Doctorate in their field, hence why they’re teaching. They don’t know what the hell they’re talking about, right? Am I right? Come on guys back me up here….

3. The Stoney Baloney

I actually heard this term from my Art History professor, who to this day I think gets high as a kite. On a consistent basis. This guy’ll be easy to spot; he’s wearing sunglasses to a 7pm class. Why? His eyes are bloodshot. Either that or he’s just staring into space, or giggling every time your professor says a word that can have more than one meaning. Don’t be too harsh on this guy though, he’s just trying to pass. Truth be told, I’ve gone to a couple of classes blazed out of my mind. I haven’t failed a class yet!

4. The Guy Who Tries to Befriend The Professor

This guy will spend less time trying to learn and more time trying to rub shoulders with the professor in hopes they will pass him when he fails the final. This vexes me. I came to class to learn, not to listen to you try to shoot the breeze with the teacher in the middle of a lecture. As mentioned above, if he spent half the time learning and taking notes he might not feel the need to kiss the teachers ass. Unless she’s hot. I have a couple of hot teachers this semester…I hope one of them are those teachers that screw their students. I’m willing and able, and I won’t snitch.

5. The Guy Who Shows Up…..Once

Good riddance, you’ll never see this fellow again. Well maybe during finals week, as he becomes Guy # 4 and pleads and begs the teacher not to flunk his sorry ass. What’s most mysterious about this guy is not that he doesn’t attend class, but what he does when he’s not in class. Is there something so pressing that you must flush your GPA down the toilet? The world may never know. Maybe he works a lot. Maybe he is a drug trafficker, maybe he is Spider-man.  You never know, my friends.  You never know…

It’s almost February 14th. For some guys, it’s the best day of the year. Spending all day with your girl and guaranteed action. For most of us, it’s the worst. Spending all day with your girl (watching shitty romantic-comedies) and guaranteed action (provided you wine and dine her). Here are some scenarios for us college guys put find ourselves in on or before that fateful day.

1. You settled for a girl you know that wants you so you could get laid

She isn’t in your league. Actually, you’re out of her league. But that didn’t stop you from turning your one night stand into 365 day one. When February 14th rolls around, you’re actually smiling. She pines over you whether or not you put a rock on her finger, and that night she was more than happy you gave her a pearl necklace.

2. You’re deadlocked and upset you need to buy her another gift

It’s been three years, and you still have to buy her gifts? What happened to unconditional love? To her it shows that your love for her is never ending, and so are your pockets. You might want to get out while you can, or just stop buying her gifts. You win your freedom, but lose poon. Choose wisely.

3. You’d rather be alone or with your friends downing your miseries

You’re single. But you aren’t the only one in your group of friends. Maybe one had a recent break up, or just don’t have a special lady in your life. When the 14th rolls around you can be found at the closest watering hole crying into your appletini, you bitch. Maybe that’s why you’re single.

4. You’re looking for a quick-fix on craigslist

Maybe you’re recently single, or she isn’t giving you any action. You hit up craigslist.org, and the last couple of keys you hit on your keyboard spell out “must be disease free” or something along those lines. Hey, we’ve all been there buddy. Those who haven’t are either happy with being single, happy with being whipped, or unhappy but won’t resort to random booty calls on craigslist. Besides, haven’t a couple of people been killed that way? Can’t be too safe nowadays?

5. You somehow wound up on a Valentine’s Day date “as friends”

Why’d you do it?  We have no idea…maybe because you’re not reading our get the girl articles. Anyway, you have a cute friend who had no plans and you thought you’d score yourself some points by asking her out on a date as friends.  You thought: “at least I’ll get a date out of it.” Dumbass!  Enjoy the awkwardness when the check comes…

6. You realized the opportunities…

Millions of girls vulnerable and looking for love or a rebound? Oh, what ever shall you do? This situation tells us that you did read our get the girl articles and we’ll be expecting some awesome success stories in our inbox from you.  Yes, this picture is our very own Campus Casanova.

There are a few steals that you can grab for the perfect Vegas getaway before school starts.  Enter the semester with a head full of memories and a facebook album that will make all of your friends envious without having to spend too much.

$170 @ Four Seasons Hotel

Fourseasons.com

Four seasons is one of the marquee hotels anywhere you go.  It is the preference of celebrities and you would seem like a baller just by having the experience of being in one.  Especially in Vegas.  The offer is good until end of August, so jump on it while you can.  If you stay for at least 2 nights, you get $50 spa-credit…so you can find a girl and give her that facial you knew she wanted.

$99 @ The Mirage

Mirage.com

This price is for a spa package at the Mirage, it is for a 25 minute massage and some other spa treatment.
The deal is 40% off the original cost of the ‘Quickie Package.’

$29 per person @ Wynn

Wynnlasvegas.com

This price is for a fixed three-course dinner.  I am from New York and I spend more than that on breakfast and lunch.  Definitely a steal.  The Wynn is great resort that always seems to be loaded with girls.

25% off ‘The Beatles LOVE’

Cirquedusoleil.com

From what we hear, this show is supposed to be one of the best in a long time.  The show is playing in its own theater at the Mirage.

$159 @ The Palms

Palmsplace.com

Hands down, our favorite deal on this post. You get a sweet studio pad with full kitchens and big balconies.  You also get daytime use of the exclusive cabanas by the Palms Place pool.

Not only that, but you also get hook-ups to VIP passes to the nightlife scene at The Palms right next door.  The deal on this package is called the Studio Suite + Poolside Cabana package.

Wet Republic

Wetrepublic.com

The rising popularity of this local pool party has more girls than you can imagine.  It’s $10 admission for ladies and $20 for guys (double those on weekends).  Unlike most of the pool parties that go on in Vegas, this one is open all week.  Bet your ass that you’ll see thongs and some bathing suits that you’ll never forget.