Published on Monday, August 31, 2009 by Campus King Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities:  the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates. +Abbott Lawrence Lowell What we say: Being a senior, I can honestly say I've gone through 18 credits and used less than 10 sheets of paper/10 braincells to learn a damn thing....

Published on Monday, August 24, 2009 by Campus King “Successful colleges will start laying plans for a new stadium; unsuccessful ones will start hunting a new coach” +Will Rogers What we say: When it all comes down to it, all that matters to some colleges are sports.  Some are in small towns and the business of the community and the locals all thrive on the sports at that college.  To be quite honest, at mo...

Published on Monday, August 17, 2009 by Campus King You think about the future too much and you kinda forget about the present. +Van Wilder What you should take from it: If you’re on The Campus Throne, odds are that you are a college student or close to being one. You’re going to be in the best shape of your life before responsibilities start to hit you left and right. Not only that, you’ll be surrounded by...

Published on Monday, August 10, 2009 by Campus King “Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.” +Billy Crystal What we say: Fucking cleopatra.  I blame her for all of this madness! Women used to be slaves before she came along and gave women the power of sex.  Guys will do it anywhere, anytime, any place.  "What's that secretary?" You want to have sex right now on the germ-infested subway bat...

Published on Monday, August 3, 2009 by Campus King “In the sex war, thoughtlessness is the weapon of the male, vindictiveness of the female.” +Cyril Connolly What we say: This is one powerful ass mother effing quote.  Guys get back at girls by not answering the phone, or by ignoring the girl.  Girls get back at guys by decking themselves out and going out and flirting.  Bitches!...

Published on Monday, July 27, 2009 by Campus King If you have a college degree you can be absolutely sure of one thing... you have a college degree. +Author Unknown What we say: Having a college degree was once a tremendous feat.  Nowadays, it's a rather common one.  In fact, some of the most successful people in the world pretty much said "fuck college" and made it out without a college degree.  Just ask ...

Published on Monday, July 20, 2009 by Campus King “Money, it turned out, was exactly like sex, you thought of nothing else if you didn't have it and thought of other things if you did.” +James Arthur Baldwin What we say:  Any quote that has the words money and sex in it is okay by us.  When it comes down to it, people only worry about things that they don't have.  Be appreciative and grateful for what yo...

Published on Monday, July 6, 2009 by Campus King “If you tell folks you're a college student, folks are so impressed. You can be a student in anything and not have to know anything. Just say toxicology or marine biokinesis, and the person you're talking to will change the subject to himself. If this doesn't work, mention the neural synapses of embryonic pigeons.” – Chuck Palahniuk What we say:  You ever ...

Published on Monday, June 29, 2009 by Campus King “You have four years to be irresponsible here. Relax. Work is for people with jobs. You'll never remember class time, but you'll remember time you wasted hanging out with your friends. So, stay out late. Go out on a Tuesday with your friends when you have a paper due Wednesday. Spend money you don't have. Drink 'til sunrise. The work never ends, but college does..."...

Published on Monday, June 22, 2009 by Campus King Jocks only think about sports, nerds only think about sex. +Lewis (Revenge of the Nerds 1984) What we say: Damn true.  I'd say the same goes for guidos only thinking about techno, too.  Douchebags....

Published on Monday, June 15, 2009 by Campus King "Her name's Naomi. That's "I moan" backwards." +Van Wilder This quote is recited in the film National Lampoon’s Van Wilder. Being the best wingman on the planet, Van hooks up his assistant, Taj with one of his ridiculously hot friends. He recites the above introduction when he introduces Taj to his friend, Naomi. When you should use it: Anytime you meet a gir...

Published on Monday, June 8, 2009 by Campus King A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D.  Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B. +"Fats" Domino What we say: We know people that have degrees and are still working summer jobs with teenagers.  Shit...look at us...we don't have a degree yet and our job is to motorboat college girls and write about it on this site all day....