Is your girl still hitting up her exes? We asked our relationship correspondent how to deal with this situation from a girl’s point of view…

Have any of your exes ever hit you up?  Be honest, did you ignore them?  You really can’t tell her who she can be friends with.  That would mean that either you’re insecure, or she can’t be trusted. What you can do is make her realize that being with you is better than it ever was with him.  You need to put a little effort into it make her see that your relationship is more fun, more exciting, and more satisfying.  If this doesn’t work, then you’re going to have to talk to her.  Be honest.  Tell her that the situation makes you uncomfortable.  If she really cares about you, then she should respect your feelings and cool it with the other guy.

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If she doesn’t stop, who’s to say that she isn’t just keeping him around as a back-up?   She obviously still cares for him.   She may tell you that she doesn’t want to hurt his feelings, but what about your feelings?  Bottom line, if you tell her the truth about how the situation makes you feel and she doesn’t care, it’s not gonna work.  She’s sacrificing a great future with you for someone from the past.

Is your girl flirting too much? We asked our relationship correspondent how to deal with this situation from a girl’s point of view…

She isn’t psychic – you have to tell her!  She may be so used to acting a certain way with her friends and doesn’t realize that what she’s doing bothers you.  Tell her that its hurts you to see her flirting with other guys.  She should appreciate the honesty, and be more aware of what she’s doing.  If she’s deliberately flirting with other guys around you, then she’s just being malicious.

She’s doing it to piss you off, maybe make you jealous…guess what, it works. If you mention it and she keeps at it, forget her.  She’s never going to respect you.  Do you really want that girl anyway?

Long term relationship – three little words that can be scary to some! Lots of you may think that you’ll be bachelors forever & college is the time to spread your wings and enjoy yourself. However, you may be surprised at the fact that some guys really like the idea of being with just one girl – without the games involved in the single life! Whether she’s your high school sweetheart or the freshman you met at orientation, college can provide the background for a really great relationship – if you do it right! Here are some tips on how to make a relationship survive despite the obstacles you may face along the way.

DISTANCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER

Whether you go to different schools, or live in the same dorm building, it’s safe to say that a little bit of distance is healthy. If you go to the same school, do yourself a favor and register for different classes. It may be ok to share one or two classes, but don’t make your schedules identical. I can tell you from experience that you’ll get tired of that REAL quick. Odds are, at first, you’ll be thrilled to spend so much time with your hunny. But, what happens when you have an argument? Or when you start slacking? She’s isn’t going to be too happy with the fact that she’s doing all the work and you’re just coasting along.

BALANCE YOUR INTERESTS

You each have your own individual interests. Does she want to join a sorority, while you’re more interested in student government? Understand that you have to do your own thing – explore your own individual interests, and be encouraging to your girl. Keep in mind the fact that you both need to support each others’ interests, whether or not you agree with them. Don’t like the fact that she’s pledging? Let her know (in a nice way) that you’re unhappy with the situation, and talk to her about it. Help her see the situation from your point of view, but NEVER tell her that she can’t do something, or that she’s forbidden to join any particular group. As long as she isn’t getting hurt or arrested, she’s free to do what she wants. Tell her she can’t and she’ll absolutely resent you. Embrace your curiosities and let her explore hers.

MAKE TIME FOR EACH OTHER

Ok, so you’re doing your thing in class – making friends, hanging out. You’ve gotten involved with the activities that you both find interesting and rewarding. Remember that you’re still dating! While you each want the other to meet your friends and hang out as one big happy group, make sure you still make time for each other. Go out on a date, spend a Sunday in your dorm catching up on movies you wanted to watch. Both of you love a certain TV show? Have a standing “date” every week – a time where you guys get together and chill while sharing something you both enjoy.

BOTTOM LINE

If it’s worth it to you, you’ll do what it takes to make it work. It’s going to be difficult at times, but in the end, you’ll be glad you went for it. You’ve got a built in support system there – even when things get a little rough, you know that you’ll always have someone on your side! You’ve made memories together. You understand each other’s highs and lows & you’re comfortable.

But what if it’s just too hard? If it’s just too much, it may be better in the long run for you to end on good terms and just enjoy your college life. It’s a tough situation to deal with, but trust me, it’ll get easier over time. Who knows? Maybe a little time apart will help you understand what really makes you happy.

Is your girl hanging out with friends that might be a little too slutty? Maybe they just constantly sit around and talk shit?Maybe they’re all dudes for some fucked up reason? We asked our relationship correspondent how to deal with this situation from a girl’s point of view…

What’s the issue with her friends? Are they all guys, and that makes you uncomfortable?  Are they bad influences that just want to bar hop on the weekends and pick up guys?  Do they want to hang out with her so much that she doesn’t have any time to spend with you?  If she’s hanging out with the boys all the time, ask her how she would feel if you spent your weekends with a bunch of girls.  If she says she doesn’t care, test the waters. Let her see you chillin with a group of chicks and see how she likes it.  I’m almost positive she won’t be too thrilled.  Do her girls drag her out to bar after bar on the weekends?  She can’t help it if she’s not single.  Tell her that you miss her, and you want to spend more time with her.  Let her know that while you understand that she has to support her friends, you’re an important part of her life too.  You can’t tell her not to hang out with them, but make it clear that you want more time with her.

Do her friends want to spend every waking moment with her?  This is a sticky situation, especially if her friends are single.  They may feel threatened by you – you’re the one taking their friend away from them.  Tell your girl that you want to see her more – explain to her that you know why they love spending so much time with her, but its your turn.  She’ll feel so good about herself that she’ll make sure she limits the girl time.  If you have the opportunity, talk to her friends.  Try to arrange things as a group – your friends and her friends can all get together without feeling like you’re choosing one over the other.   You’ll never come between a girl and her friends, but you can open her eyes.  Let her see what she’s missing when she’s not with you.

Have a clingy girl on your hands (and maybe other body parts)? We asked our relationship correspondent how to deal with this situation from a girl’s point of view…

Ok there could be a number of reasons behind this.  Maybe she’s insecure about herself; or maybe she’s just REALLY into you and doesn’t realize what she’s doing.  If your girl feels like she’s not getting enough attention, she may start to think that she’s not good enough, and if given the opportunity, you may stray.  If you never reinforce the fact that you’re totally into her, she’ll take every guy’s night out and Facebook message to mean that you’re looking for someone else.  I’m not saying you have to shower her with gifts and profess your love every minute (honestly, that may freak her out even more lol and if it doesn’t, then you have bigger issues to deal with).  Throw her a compliment every once in a while, text her just to say hi, try to pay attention to the little things (ex. show her that you noticed her new haircut).  By showing her that she’s on your mind, she should ease up a little bit.

Has she told you about an ex that cheated on her?  If so, then she’s gonna be on her guard.  She’s been hurt before, and she’s probably trying to make sure that it doesn’t happen again.  If this is the case, you have to talk to her.  Let her know that you understand how she feels and that she has nothing to worry about.  She has to trust you.  If she can’t do that, then maybe she isn’t the right girl for you.

Are you her first real boyfriend? If so, she may not realize that she’s being clingy.  She doesn’t understand the boundaries yet.  Let her know that while you love spending time with her, it’s important that you don’t neglect your other relationships.   This may seem counter-productive, but invite her one night when you’re hanging out with the boys.  After a night of ESPN and XBOX, I think she’ll get the hint that there are more fun ways to pass the time.  No offense guys, but I’m sure she’d rather catch a movie with her friends than sit around and listen to you go on and on about your fantasy football team. Encourage her to plan time with her girl friends.  Its healthy to spend time apart, and when you eventually plan something together, it will be that much more exciting.

Bottom Line:

Be honest with her, and reassure her.  A little bit of jealousy is healthy, but if she takes it ti the extreme, its probably not the best relationship to be in.  No matter how much you tell her, she has to realize for herself that she’s being needy and possessive.  Sometimes time apart is the only way to paint a clear picture.

For more on dealing with clinginess, we found this site to be the most useful.

Girls are extremely sensitive and insecure about their bodies.  Although you may adore your girlfriend, you see she may have raided the twinkie stash and could use some time at the gym. We asked our relationship correspondent how to deal with this situation from a girl’s perspective…

As long as there aren’t any serious health reasons why she can’t work out, you can motivate her to get her ass moving.  What if you’re the type of guy that prefers to work out alone? No worries.  Talk to her friends.  If they go to the gym, ask them to invite her. Suggest that maybe they take a class together, like pilates or even pole dancing (bonus for you )!  You could even take the plunge and sign up for a class with her – salsa lessons could always come in handy.  Once she gets started, make sure that you’re supportive.  If she starts to get discouraged, reinforce the fact that she’s doing something great for herself.  Summer is coming, so suggest some outdoor activities that you can do together.

At absolute least, get yourself a Wii and set her up with the Wii fit. Or maybe go for a bike ride, or throw a Frisbee/baseball/football around in the park.  If you’re a runner, invite her to come for a jog with you.  Rather go to the gym? Ask her to come along.  If she’s doing things with you, she won’t see it as a chore.  Once you get the endorphins pumping and you’re all hot and sweaty, that newly developed stamina will come in handy during your own personal workout later, if you get the idea.