We understand that sometimes girls get wasted. It makes them funnier, loosened up, and often can also jade their judgment. But at Ohio University’s 7fest, getting drunk is taken to a whole new level. Still, we feel that everybody should know their limits. Clearly, this poor soul did not get our memo. Being the drunkest girl on campus may have some advantages I suppose (like becoming a viral sensation). Still, rolling around like a pig in mud and struggling to even stand up aren’t exactly the best way to present yourself as somebody who knows how to party.

The hardcore partier knows how to stay awake and alive to witness epic moments like this, rather than actually being the laughing stock who became a human bowling ball every time they tried to get their balance.

Cinco de Mayo has nothing to do with the good ‘ol You Ess of Ay but we still celebrate it anyway. Hate us or love us we don’t discriminate when it comes to holidays. If there’s a reason to act rowdy and consume alcohol, we’re there and probably six beers deep by the time you show up. Several reasons to celebrate are

1. You Can Learn Some History

For those who are too lazy to go to wikipedia.com, “The holiday commemorates the Mexican army’s unlikely victory over French forces at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862, under the leadership of Mexican General Ignacio Zaragoza Seguín.” An unlikely victory you say? I’ll drink to that!

2. Hispanic Parties Have Mucho Tequila and Corona

See what I did there? Mucho = a lot. Anyhow, I don’t personally like either but then again there’s people who eat deep fried twinkies and get off on the sound of train whistles. Plus if you know the host/someone at the party, you can get your fill of alcohol para gratis. That means for free.

3. Hispanic Parties Have Lots of Women

Hispanic women are beautiful, plain and simple. Of course there are some eyesores but when you look past that (i.e. not at them) all the pretty ones seem to just pop up. Hispanic women are also aggressive which adds to the sexiness, but don’t get too hands on with them or you’ll get your ass kicked, most likely by her as well.

4. It’s a Holiday

I couldn’t think of any more Hispanic/Mexican related things for the list, so let’s be real here. Any excuse to drink publicly/with friends is good enough for us, so quit being a sourpuss and finish that cerveza! That means beer in Spanish.

5. It’s Cinco de Mayo

I had to come up with at least five things, it being CINCO de Mayo after-all. If the above four reasons aren’t enough for you to crack a bottle, then just go home and go to sleep. Plus if it’s a themed party you can wear an over-sized sombrero and bullets like Pancho Villa, and not look like a tool.

Be safe this Cinco de Mayo. What? You’re not going to celebrate it you say? Que ridiculo!

It’s no secret that pretty much everyone has either tried or regularly smokes marijuana. However there are some people out there who can’t roll their own stuff. Don’t fret, this will teach you how. There are millions of guides on this subject but everyone has their own way to roll up, which is the beauty of it. This process is best enjoyed while listening to “How to Roll a Blunt” by Redman

1. GET YOUR CIGAR ON

Cop them at your local gas station. West Coast smokers use swishers East Coast smokers use dutchmasters. If you can’t manage to get those, you can buy other ones like Phillies and White Owls but the first two are the most reliable. Games burn slow too. Whatever flavor you like. Hopefully buy this time your blend has already been broken up. If not take a second to do that (no seeds or stems though).

2. LICK IT DOWN THE MIDDLE THEN CUT IT

Lick it straight up and down (not like a woman’ s leg, but one or two good licks). Take a razor or straight edged knife and cut it along where you licked. It should split with no problem.  Over a trashcan, scrape out all the nasty tobacco.

3. REMOVE THE CANCER PAPER!

Not sure if this is the correct term for it, but it is a little dark brown leaf under the outer leaf. Some people just rip it off, outer leaf and all. Other folk remove the out leaves altogether. For the sake of preference we’re going to continue as if we’ve removed the the outer leaves altogether. Now you’re left with The inner leaf.

4. SPREAD YOUR STUFF

Take your mixture and spread it evenly in the middle of your leaf. If you see seeds pick them out. Same goes for stems. If you’re too lazy to do this then prepare to be ridiculed by vet. smokers. We can tell when you’ve rolled up a seed or stem. Stems are crucial to remove, because they can puncture the leaf when you follow the next step.

5. ROLL IT UP!

Now comes the rolling part. You’ll have to bear with me, for this is the hardest part. Make sure your mixture is in the middle, then take the leaf edge closest to you and double it over, mix and all. It may take a couple tries for you to get this down, but practice makes perfect. You should now have a little lip of a further edge. Using all eight of your fingers, squish the blunt down into itself. Not too hard, but enough to keep it nice and compact.

6. SEAL THE DEAL

Gingerly pick up your newborn blunt, lick across the lip and close it. My own way uses two index fingers, but do what makes you feel comfortable. This is in essence, a “naked” blunt; there’s no outer leaf on it but we’ll get to that.

7. WRAP OUTER LEAF

If your outer leaf is in pieces, lick a piece, roll it on, repeat. If it is still one outer leaf, lick the entire thing, and put the blunt on the closer edge (that is, closest to you) and roll it up using all your fingers and thumbs. Once again it sounds difficult and most likely will be your first couple of times.

8. ROAST IT

Flick your bic and run the lighter’s flame quickly up and down your finished product, which dries it out quicker.

9. HAVE SOME FUN

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Want to know more about drugs? Our mad pharmacist, Jordan, aims to keep you informed on every high you can get out there.  (Yes, that includes weed)

Can it be?  There is going to be a pill that can actually help people retain information?  Many people think this is all a hoax.  People do not believe there can be a pill that can help you memorize an abundant amount of information.  Well, some scientists would like to say otherwise.

WHAT IS PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY?

Photographic memory is usually defined as the capablility to recall images, objects, or sounds with accuracy, clarity, and in a great amount.  Now there are numerous techniques you can find online that can teach you how to enhance your memory.  Most people will agreee that it is easier if a pill did that for you so you do not have to work.  Well, the pill might have been created!

THE PILL

A group of Spanish scientists claim to have singled out a protein that can extend the life of visual memory significantly.  They tested this pill with mice and found out that the mice retained information for about 2 months.  Now we know there is a big difference between a human and a mouse, but this is a step in the right direction

HOW THEY DID IT

Unlike the long-term memory creation that was imaged recently, this memory extension only applies to memories made through the poorly-understood visual cortex of the brain. The scientists first removed from mice the portion of the brain believed to be associated with visual memories–layer six of the V2 region–and showed that the mice could no longer remember any object they saw. They then increased the production of a group of proteins–RGS-14–created in that cortex. The mice’s retention of visual images was increased almost 1,500 times.  WHAT THIS BASICALLY MEANS IS…. the scientists found the protein that mice are lacking to retain information and stimulated its synthesis.  Now we do not know how dangerous this is because increasing a protein in your brain may be deadly.  As we see their memory capability increased 1500 times. That is incredible!

NOW HOW WILL THIS AFFECT ME?

Do you remember all of those nights craming for that test?  Studying powerpoint slides over and over again?  Well if this pill is created and deamed safe for humans, then goodbye to the all-nighter.  This pill is going to revolutionize how students study.  People may consider this cheating, HOWEVER let us embrace the fact that a pill is going to lessen the stress for millions of college students. If you need to get somewhere, you will have to read the map once and will be able to get their with no trouble.  Difficult memory games will become obsolete.  Just imagine if you remember something one day and you could remember that one fact for over a month!!

HOWEVER, there are multiple ethical questions that are based on this.  Multiple people feel that academic requirments in school will increase because of this new medication.  People will retain more information and therefore universities are going to have higher requirments.  Additionally many people feel that the pill should be given to people who have diseases, such as Alzeimer’s Disease, because they lack normal memory ability.  People feel that recreational use should not be allowed because it would be cheating.  Overall, lets just say for now that the pill will be available for college students and we can retain all the information our professors need us to memorize.

RECOMMENDATION

This pill looks amazing.  It is going to revolutionize how everyone studies in college.  It looks like this pill is going to bring the college student less stress, better grades, and a much easier college experience.  However I do not like that they will increase the protein in the brain.  I know this is a new pill and plenty of more studies need to be done, but increasing anything in the body can be deadly.  So as of now this pill looks like a life-saver, but more tests will need to be taken.  We will keep you posted on new information about this pill.

SORRY BUT AS OF NOW YOU NEED TO KEEP STUDYING!  BUT THERE IS HELP ON THE WAY!

STEP 1

Taking a girl home from a bar requires some work. Any guy can buy her a drink, but you have to be more than just a free drink. Sure buying some alcohol helps, but to weed out the girls who are in it just for the booze, buy her a beer/mixed drink, and never a shot. This is because with the shot she can just say thanks and hit the road, with the drink she’s more likely to stay a little.

STEP 2

This is where you really capture her, you have to grab her attention, like by making her laugh. If she hasn’t left the chances are she is feeling you or atleast wants to discover more, a girl knows right away if she wants to sleep with you, it’s just your job to convince her it’s worth it. The next step is the most important. It’s the conversation. You basically are selling this girl the dream. Don’t say no, feed from what she says, and agree. Make her think that you two are perfect.

STEP 3

Lastly you have the closing, don’t stay with her forever, cut it short, leave some mystery. Invite her to do something you had talked about earlier. For instance if she said she loves movies, tell her you’ve  got a movie at your place you’ve heard great things about. Trust me if you’ve caught her interest, and she doesn’t think it’s all about the ass, she’ll buy into it. And the last thing you’ll be doing that night is watching the movie.

Whether clear or dark, rum or vodka, liquor fucks you up. Like a 300 lb. Silverback eating PCpineapples (pineapples infused with pcp) you shouldn’t mess around with liquor unless you’re a pro. If you’re new to drinking or not a heavyweight drinker coming half correctly with liquor is sure to have you bowing to the porcelain throne in no time. Here’s three tips to help you maintain your composure.

1. DO NOT MIX LIGHT AND DARK

If you do this you might as well piss yourself and vomit where ever you are standing. While you CAN conceivably mix liquors together (L.I. Iced Tea anyone?) you won’t be doing much of it unless you’re a seasoned drinker. If you have to stick to one, try them all (in different sittings of course) and decide which you like the best. Vodka is a good starter because it tastes the same no matter what. Once you get into the high end vodkas it’s like taking shots of (flavored) water.

2. PACE YOURSELF

Probably the hardest thing to do especially if you’re at a party or in the company of a lady. Pacing yourself requires that you actually realize that if you take another shot you will shit yourself. If the guy next to you orders three double shots of Jack Daniel’s, assume he is either the devil incarnate (which could be a good thing because it looks like he knows how to party) or Thor. If you feel like you’re losing control, simply stop drinking. Your kidneys and dignity will thank you for it later.

3. ALTERNATE

The easiest way to hold your liquor, alternate between alcoholic beverages and non-alcoholic ones. You’ll be filtering your bloodstream as you drink. Beware though, drinks tend to creep up on you when you least expect it. So if you have to take two waters back to back then so be it. You’ll also be keeping yourself hydrated for the most part which will help you battle the accursed hangover. It’s a good film, but not a good feeling.

Its From Behind The Bar that I give you advice about the hot girl you’ve been wanting to talk to, but don’t know how.  Its From Behind The Bar that I make the shots and drinks that get your nights started out and leave you staggering home.  Its From Behind The Bar that I help your friends play jokes on others with non-alcoholic drinks and laugh along with the rest of the group.  Its “From Behind The Bar” that will help get you through your college years and probably a whole lot more.  I’m going to give you what you need to know about drinks, shots, trends, and advice that you’d expect to hear from your own bartender at home.  Laugh till you hurt, drink till you’re thirsty, and always have the best time on campus.

LIQUID COCAINE SHOT

1/2 ounce Peppermint Schnapps

1/2 ounce Jagermeister

1/2 ounce Bacardi 151

This shot is definitely not for a sissy, but both men and women enjoy it.  This shot is made for those who want to get drunk pretty quickly.  Though, it doesnt have the most appealing taste in the world, it goes down easy, and after a few of these you can rest assured youll have sealed the drinking deal.

OATMEAL COOKIE

1/5 shot Jagermeister

1/5 shot Goldschlager

1/5 shot Bacardi 151

1/5 shot Kahlua

1/5 shot Bailey’s Irish cream

This shot used to once be known as only a “shot for girls.”  Many college chemists sat together finding a way to make this yummy shot pack more of a punch, their findings were a success!!  If you are craving a treat while youre out, try an Oatmeal Cookie shot.  I drink these all the time and it really does taste like an Oatmeal Cookie!  Bottomsups!!

STOP LIGHT

Top Glass:  1/2 ounce Sour Apple Schnapps and Midori

Middle Glass:  1/2 ounce Bacardi 151 and Pineapple or Orange Juice

Bottom Glass:  1/2 ounce Cinnamon Schnapps and Grenadine

This shot is really three small shots all together taken one after another.  It starts off sweet and tangy with the schnapps, turns sweet with the yellow, and backs a hit with your cinnamon schnapps at the end.  Once the bartender puts this down infront of you (make sure they have it stacked when they give it to you ;] ) everyone will want to know what it is and you will be the new center of attention.

Basically most guys want to know what they should bring when they move into their dorm.  They want to know what they will use mostly and what will impress the ladies.  Do not worry because this list should help you decide what is necessary in college guy’s dorm room.

CLOTHES

• Button Down shirts are  a must Guys wake up you are in college and now should dress professionally now.  Job interns are going to start occuring and you need to look your best.  Plus you should always want to look good and button down shirts do that for you.  I would say 4-5 nice button down shirts will suffice.

• Dress Pants. Same reasons as for button down shirts.

• Bring a couple of pairs of jeans to wear out for a party or to chill when it gets cold out.

• Shirts: Bring a couple of nice  short sleeve and long sleeve shirts.  By nice I mean not all Hollister and Abercrombie and all that.  Wear different shirts; shirts no one has ever seen before.  Be different!  Do not forget crappy shirts too that can get dirty because you never know when a girl will check you out playing a sport!

• Shoes: Guys bring a pair of dress shoes!  Always look your best when your going out.  Impress girls, show them what you got!  Bring one pair of running shoes like asics or nike.  I wouls also bring a casual pair, for example: Nike 6.0′s.

• Then your usual socks, boxers, shorts, jacket ( A blazer would be very good), and multiple sweat shirts ( Just in case a girl steals one).

BED SUPPLIES

• Comfortable bed Guys this is key.  If you have a comfortable bed, girls will keep coming back to it if they want to chill, have a couple of beers, “sleep”, whatever the case is they will come back.

• Fan: It is most likely going to get very hot in your dorm room.  Make sure you have a fan to keep you cold at night when you sleep.  Also, make sure the room is comfortbale so when a girl comes in, she does not sweat till after you two are done!

• Pillows: I would recommend two nice, either soft or hard, pillows.

FOOD

• Snacks: Bring a lot of snacks and little things to have because you might get hungry at night.  Ex: Doritos, ice cream, snack packs, anything.  I find Easy Mac to be a perfect snack.

• Soup: If you go to a school when it gets cold out, a nice bowl of soup will put you in a great mood.

• Chocolate: Guys, girls like chocolate so it would not be a bad thing to have some of that around.

• Microwavable food

• Forks, Knives, Spoons, Napkins

• Refrigerator, Freezer, and Microwave

• Treat Yourself: Buy yourself something that you would like to make or have that you had home.  Who cares how expensive it is, just buy it so if you are ever in the mood for it, there it is!

BEVERAGES

• Water: A couple of cases of water should be fine to start with.  But you will use them pretty fast in the beginning because it is probably going to be very humid when you first start school.
• Soda or Iced Tea or any type of drink other than water you want to put in your refrigerator.

GROOMING & HYGIENE

• Toothpaste and Tooth Brush are a MUST

• Towels: Bring a couple of towels, about 4-5.  Shower sex is amazing so you neve know!

• Soap and shampoo

• Razors

• Toilet paper, tissues, soap, and paper towels: Be respectful to your other roommates and make sure you bring toilet paper too.  You do not want to run out of toilet paper!

• Laundry Bag and Detergent: I would suggest to bring a lot of detergent and bring a big laundry bag because it  will suck if  you make a couple of trips to get your laundry.  Get all your laundry at once to make your life easier.

• Vacuum: Keep your dorm clean!

SCHOOL SUPPLIES

• Pens and scrap paper: You are going to fly out of pens and paper.  Bring a lot.

• Binders and Notebooks are necessary

• Printer: It is not completely necessary but if you are running late and need to print something fast, it becomes well worth it.

• Highlighters, pencils, CALENDER, Ruler, Tape, Thumbtacks, SAT calculator, Backpack

• LAPTOP

MEDICINE

• First aid kit: You never know when you will need it

• Tylenol, Excedrin, Pepto Bismol, and allergy medication (Ex: Claritin): Just make sure you are not allergic to any of these

MISCELLANEOUS GUY THINGS

• *Be careful when it comes to alcohol:* When you go to school, your other college students will be having parties in their dorms.  That is one way to get noticed!  Bring a bottle of vodka or two to show your roommates and the girls that you are ready to party.  However, make sure you do not get caught and make sure everyone in your dorm agrees with it being ok!  The only reason I say vodka is because it does not have that smell like beer and it is easier to sneak in.  But be careful!

• Condoms: This is huge right here.  Be safe and have a great time.  Remember, one bad mistake and there goes your life.  Just use them everytime you have sex.  I would recommend bringing 3-5 boxes because you also have to help out your friends when they need one.  Now some schools do not allow condoms, so make sure you hide them.  Also, it does not look good if you leave them out and a girl walks in.

• Sports equipment: Bring a football, tennis racket, baseball glove, anything to do with sports.  Stay active and in shape.

• Posters: It is always good to have posters.  Show people what you are interested in.  Always a good ice breaker!

• Television: Always good to have one, especially if you put a game system on it.  Watch movies or play games.

• Pictures of whatever you want ( Friends, Family…)

Here are the 10 drugs that one will most likely experiment with while in college.

HEROIN

Heroin is similar to morphine and gives you a pleasurable sensation.  When you inject heroin it gives you a “rush” which makes your body feel good.  However heroin is a deadly drug.  You can have dry, itchy skin and skin infections, reduced sex drive, Hepatitis and HIV are two diseases that can develop in your body if you use unsanitary needles, and overdose can lead to death! There is around a 9% chance you will try this because it is popular in some schools but in most schools it is not.

KETAMINE

It is an anesthetic that is mainly used for animals, but it has also been proven to work for humans too.  College students abuse it because it gets them really high and it causes major hallucinations.  It can be either snorted, injected, or if made into tablets swallowed.  Use of the drug can impair an individual’s senses, judgment, and coordination for up to 24 hours after the drug is taken.  Ketamine can cause depression, delirium, amnesia, impaired motor function, high blood pressure, and potentially fatal respiratory problems.  It is mainly called K, special K, cat valium, and vitamin K.  There is around a 10% chance you will try this drug.  Again it also depends at what college you attend.

ECSTASY

It is also called MDMA.  It is used to calm people down and get them in a comfortable mood.  People get a feel of self-confidence and energy.  Some short term effects are increased heart rate and blood pressure, nausea, and sleep problems.  Long term effects are changes in mood and appetite and sometimes loss of memory.  If you do overdose on ecstasy, death can occur!  So is it really fucking worth it to take this just to get self-confidence with a girl!  Stop being a pussy and just talk to her sober!  It is known as the club drug because it is mostly consumed in nightclubs.  Ecstasy is mainly taken in a pill form.  The movie Bad Boys 2 shows the use of ecstasy in clubs.  Around 15% of all college students have used ecstasy.  But you must take into effect that some colleges do not have clubs around them.  So it depends if your college is surrounded by clubs.  There is around a 17% chance that you will try ecstasy.

LSD

Commonly known as ACID!  LSD is the most common hallucinogen drug out there.  LSD is mostly swallowed but if you get it in a liquid form, it can be used in the eye like eye drops.  When you take this drug, it gives you insane hallucinations and delusions.  You will be tripping!  However, of course there are consequences for taking this drug.  Shocker!  The most common effects of LSD are increased body temperature, heart rate, and blood pressure; sleeplessness; and loss of appetite.  Of course you should not drive after taking this drug! A serious side effect is that people normally get horrible flash backs which in return can damage themselves.  There is around a 25% chance that you will try this drug.

COCAINE

When you take cocaine, you get a feeling of confidence and alertness.  It is a highly addictive central nervous system stimulant that can be snorted, smoked, or injected.  Some short term effects of this horrible drug are increased blood pressure, energy, heart rate, and decreased appetite.  Now the long term effects of this drug are heart attacks, seizures, nausea, chest pains, and fevers.  O and you will look like a dirt bag if you get addicted.  Goodbye to all of your fucking money!  Around 8% of all college students have tried it and statistics show that the percentage is going to go up.  There is around a 27% chance that you will try cocaine while you are in college.

SHROOMS

Also known as magic mushrooms and mushrooms.  College students take these because they produce a feeling of relaxation.  You also can laugh a lot and find ordinary things funny as hell.  Hallucinations are also a possibility.  The biggest danger that comes with taking shrooms is that some mushrooms are poisonous and if you take a poisonous one you can have stomach pains.  Worst cases are vomiting, diarrhea and even death.  There is around a 30% chance that you will have the opportunity to try shrooms.  They are not very popular but they make their way around colleges.

WHIPPETS

Whippets is an inhalant.  Inhalants are fumes which cause a high.  Inhalants affect the brain with great speed and force and keep oxygen from reaching the lungs.  The high normally lasts for a few minutes, so that’s why people continually inhale.  Whippets are nitrous oxide gas, used in whipped cream bottles.  When you inhale whippets your lips turn purple and you laugh a lot.  Some side effects are slurred speech, lack of coordination, dizziness, lightheadedness, hallucinations, delusions, loss in control, lingering headache, confusion, nausea or vomiting.  “Sudden sniffing death” can also occur which is heart failure and immediate death, even with first time use.  There is around a 48% chance that you will try whippets when you go to college.

ADDERALL

Now I wrote an article on this already but I am going to summarize what this drug is about.  Of course everyone knows who read my article that you should stay the fuck away from this drug unless you have a prescription from a doctor.  It helps college students focus and become less distracted.  Of course this is a life saver when you save a fucking paper for the last minute because this drug will keep your mind focused all night on the paper.  Around 70% of all college students have taken this drug because it works better then coffee and energy drinks.  Now if you are the type of student that does all of his work on time and does not need to stay up all night doing work… get fucking real most college students are not like that, but if you are then this percentage will be way down for you.  There is a 60% chance you will try adderall, and you will most likely try it when you have to pull an all nighter and one of your friends takes this drug.  At that moment you will decide whether or not you will try it. But be fucking smart!

MARIJUANA

Marijuana is a green, brown, or gray mixture of dried, shredded leaves, stems, seeds, and flowers of the hemp plant.  All forms of marijuana are mind-altering. In other words, they change how the brain works. They all contain THC (delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol), the main active chemical in marijuana.  However there are negative effects that marijuana has on the body.  Some small effects are problems with memory, distorted sight and speech, and increased heart rate.  The long term effects of marijuana is that you can develop lunch cancer and severely damage your bodily organs.  The mind altering part gets you high!!  Some street names are:  Aunt Mary, BC bud, Boom, Chronic, Dope, Ganja, Gangster, Grass, Harsh, Herb, Kiff, Mary Jane, Pot, Reefer, Sinsemilla, Skunk, Weed.  Nearly 50% of all college students have used marijuana at least once.  Around 35% of all college students have used marijuana at least once the past year.  There is around a 71% chance you will try marijuana.

ALCOHOL

The most obvious drug that students will most likely try in college is alcohol.  Most people know about the shit that goes on at parties and how fucked up they can be. Alcohol is a clear drink that is made from corn, barley, grain, rye, or a beverage containing ethyl.  It is a depressant.  People drink this to get drunk and fucked up!  Some short term effects of drinking alcohol are dizziness, slurred speech, disturbed sleep, nausea, and vomiting.  Some long term effects are damage to the brain and liver, hallucinations, and anxiety.  Of course all of these effects depend on how much you drink.  The more you drink, the more you will fuck up your body, nice and simple to understand.  There is around a 90% chance that you will try alcohol.

THE RECOMMENDATION

I do not recommend using or testing any of these drugs.  Look, they all are addicting!  They all can hurt you!  You should not abuse these drugs; in fact stay away from them.  Look I am a college student and I get it, getting drunk is fun, you feel more comfortable with girls, but it is deadly to your body.  The effects of these drugs can happen when you first try it, or if you take the drugs for a long time.  It is a risk!  You can have fun at college without using these drugs.  Look I know most people drink, I do myself!  All I wanted to do was show the effects of some drugs.  Be safe and be smart!!  You have one life, live it right.

You dont want to end up like this…

“A Guide to Common Campus Drugs.” Web.24 Jul 2009.

<http://www.kirklin.com/wfdata/files/conclusion.pdf>.

“WHAT ARE MAGIC MUSHROOMS?.” DanceSafe Web.24 Jul 2009. <http://www.dancesafe.org/documents/druginfo/mushrooms.php>.

“Basic Facts About Drugs: Heroin.” American Council for Drug Education’s Web.24 Jul 2009. <http://www.acde.org/common/Heroin.htm>.

“Ketamine Fast Facts.” National Drug Intelligence Center Jun 2003 Web.27 Jul 2009. <http://www.usdoj.gov/ndic/pubs4/4769/>.

“LSD (Acid).” NIDA Web.27 Jul 2009. <http://www.drugabuse.gov/DrugPages/acidLSD.html>.

“Inhalants Facts ( Whippets).” abovetheinfluence Web.30 Jul 2009. <http://www.abovetheinfluence.com/facts/drugs-inhalants.aspx#>.

“Alcohol.” The Partnership for a Drug-Free America Web.30 Jul 2009. <http://www.drugfree.org/Portal/drug_guide/Alcohol>.

As you know, Albany is a crazy party school, especially partying with the frat kids.  This is a story about my freshman year at Albany and going to my first frat party. It just happens that a lot of kids that I went to high school with also went to University of Albany.  So having an in with all of the frats and sororities was pretty easy.  The first weekend up at school, one of the frats was having a huge kick off bash to open the new school year.

Is this Heaven?

When I arrived, it was more than I expected.  Backyard filled with 6 kegs, Gatorade containers filled with Jungle Juice, and hundreds of jello shots.  Sorority girls lined up in the hottest outfits! All that ran through my head was “man I love college already.”  I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t still dreaming.

As you can imagine, I was like a fat kid in a candy shop, plenty of liquor, beer pong, flip cup, and girls, “man this is the life.”  The rest of the night was a blurr, but I was filled in the next day, when I woke up from my coma  in the afternoon, sharpied and all.

Aftermath:

My roommate wasn’t a happy camper and pretty much woke me up ready to beat the shit out of me. I was grabbing sorority girls asses, talking shit to juice heads, fell down a flight of stairs, pretty much everything possible to be that asshole at the party.  Luckily, I new a bunch of people there, which was the only reason why I didn’t get my ass kicked that night.

The best part of the whole thing is when I finally made it back to my dorm room.  I got up from my bed to take a piss, but instead of making it to the toilet, (which was right outside my bedroom door), I dropped trousers and starting pissing on my roommate who was sound asleep on the bottom bunk.  He apparently woke up mid-stream to a Golden Shower!!  I apparently pissed all over his comforters, sheets pillows, etc.

After I was done, I somehow made it back to the top bunk and woke up to one pissed off roommate.

Man what a start to college!