They stress you out. Sometimes, they make you feel like you’re an idiot and everybody else is border-line genius. It puts you under pressure and your teacher just sits there, looking at you. Not just looking at you, but that look like they just got the last laugh or know something you don’t.

For most guys, a lot of this runs through our heads during exams. Imagine if we were girls: they freak out and get overwhelmed at the smallest things.

The point is: This is a great opportunity for you to make your move, Casanova. Whether you actually know the material, have to pretend to know the material, or don’t remember the name of the course, exams are ideal for getting close to a girl or two (or three).

PHASE I: ORGANIZE STUDY SESSION/STUDY GROUP

Simply approach girls in the class. Just go up to them and say “Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to get together at the library or something to study for the exam coming up. ” You’ll be shocked by the results and how easily the majority of girls will say yes. 9 times out of 10, the girl will give you her number or ask for yours so you can talk later to decide when to meet up.

PHASE II: FOCUS ON GETTING THE GRADE

Congratulations, you already got her number. When you meet up with her, you need to really focus on getting some studying in. You have her number and now you have her alone or somewhat isolated outside of the classroom. While this is already a pretty sweet deal, you need to stay focused. I definitely recommend cracking jokes here and there to keep her entertained, but don’t overdo it. If you spend the whole time talking and laughing, she’ll be regretting your get-together when the exam is in front of her and she realizes she wasn’t ready for it (thanks to you). Focus on the material and just ask her questions about the material. Be sure to go over old homework, teachers love putting that on exams.

PHASE III: TAKE HER OUT

When the exam is over: You will know for a fact that she either passed or failed (sounds stupid, I know, but keep reading).

If she passed: Act super excited and tell her “That’s it! We need to go celebrate.” Be persistent in making plans to celebrate that she passed. It will fly right under her radar, you sly devil.

If she failed: Act sympathetic and pretend you did well. Pretend you did well: this way it seems like the study session was productive. Cheer her up by saying (with a smirk) “I’m really sorry you didn’t do well…I owe you a drink so you can cheer up or down in your misery.” Pick a date and suggest a nearby place to grab a drink.

You had a girl in your class that you barely talked to and you couldn’t make your move. You ended up getting her number within minutes, got to spend some time alone, and even got a date out of it. If she’s taken or doesn’t seem too receptive…you still end up going out for a drink with a cutie.  What did it cost you? Studying.

WHAT ARE ENERGY DRINKS AND DRUGS?

Energy drinks are canned or bottled beverages sold in convenience stores, grocery stores, and bars and nightclubs (in mixed drinks). Most energy drinks are carbonated drinks that contain large amounts of caffeine and sugar with additional ingredients, such as B vitamins, amino acids (e.g. taurine), and herbal stimulants such as guarana.

Drugs that give you energy are normally found as stimulant drugs.  Stimulants are a class of drugs that enhance brain activity.

EXAMPLES

The most popular energy drinks are:

Red Bull Energy Drink

Monster Energy Drink

Full Throttle Energy Drink

Amp Energy Drink

XS Energy Drink

Redline Energy Drink

Rock Star Energy Drink

Sparkz Energy Drink

Some popular stimulants are:

Caffeine

Nicotine

Cocaine

Ecstasy

Adderall

Ritalin

Amphetamine

Methamphetamine

WHAT DO THEY CONTAIN

Most energy drinks contain caffeine, vitamins, and herbal supplements the manufacturer has combined.  The most popular vitamin are B vitamins.  Other common ingredients are guana , acai, and taurine, plus various forms of ginseng, maltodextrin, carbonated water, inositol, carnitine, creatine, glucuronolactone and ginkgo biloba. Some contain high levels of sugar, and many brands also offer artificially-sweetened ‘diet’ versions.  THE MAJOR INGREDIENT IS CAFFEINE! Energy drugs are just the stimulant drugs that amplify your brain activity.

DO THEY TRULY WORK?

Energy drinks do have the power to keep you awake and have you bounce off the walls.  The ingredients in the energy drinks stimulate your mind.  Here is what some of the ingredients do:

• Ephedrine – A stimulant that works on the central nervous system. It is a common ingredient in weight-loss products and decongestants, but there have been concerns about its effects on the heart.
• Taurine – A natural amino acid produced by the body that helps regulate heart beat and muscle contractions. Many health experts aren’t sure what effect it has as a drink additive (and the rumor that taurine comes from bull testicles is false).
• Ginseng – A root believed by some to have several medicinal properties, including reducing stress and boosting energy levels.

WHAT IS PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY?

Photographic memory is usually defined as the capablility to recall images, objects, or sounds with accuracy, clarity, and in a great amount.  Now there are numerous techniques you can find online that can teach you how to enhance your memory.  Most people will agreee that it is easier if a pill did that for you so you do not have to work.  Well, the pill might have been created!

THE PILL

A group of Spanish scientists claim to have singled out a protein that can extend the life of visual memory significantly.  They tested this pill with mice and found out that the mice retained information for about 2 months.  Now we know there is a big difference between a human and a mouse, but this is a step in the right direction

HOW THEY DID IT

Unlike the long-term memory creation that was imaged recently, this memory extension only applies to memories made through the poorly-understood visual cortex of the brain. The scientists first removed from mice the portion of the brain believed to be associated with visual memories–layer six of the V2 region–and showed that the mice could no longer remember any object they saw. They then increased the production of a group of proteins–RGS-14–created in that cortex. The mice’s retention of visual images was increased almost 1,500 times.  WHAT THIS BASICALLY MEANS IS…. the scientists found the protein that mice are lacking to retain information and stimulated its synthesis.  Now we do not know how dangerous this is because increasing a protein in your brain may be deadly.  As we see their memory capability increased 1500 times. That is incredible!

NOW HOW WILL THIS AFFECT ME?

Do you remember all of those nights craming for that test?  Studying powerpoint slides over and over again?  Well if this pill is created and deamed safe for humans, then goodbye to the all-nighter.  This pill is going to revolutionize how students study.  People may consider this cheating, HOWEVER let us embrace the fact that a pill is going to lessen the stress for millions of college students. If you need to get somewhere, you will have to read the map once and will be able to get their with no trouble.  Difficult memory games will become obsolete.  Just imagine if you remember something one day and you could remember that one fact for over a month!!

HOWEVER, there are multiple ethical questions that are based on this.  Multiple people feel that academic requirments in school will increase because of this new medication.  People will retain more information and therefore universities are going to have higher requirments.  Additionally many people feel that the pill should be given to people who have diseases, such as Alzeimer’s Disease, because they lack normal memory ability.  People feel that recreational use should not be allowed because it would be cheating.  Overall, lets just say for now that the pill will be available for college students and we can retain all the information our professors need us to memorize.

RECOMMENDATION

This pill looks amazing.  It is going to revolutionize how everyone studies in college.  It looks like this pill is going to bring the college student less stress, better grades, and a much easier college experience.  However I do not like that they will increase the protein in the brain.  I know this is a new pill and plenty of more studies need to be done, but increasing anything in the body can be deadly.  So as of now this pill looks like a life-saver, but more tests will need to be taken.  We will keep you posted on new information about this pill.

SORRY BUT AS OF NOW YOU NEED TO KEEP STUDYING!  BUT THERE IS HELP ON THE WAY!

TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ENERGY DRINKS

What’s the story with the energy drinks that over flow the shelves at your local gas stations? Do they help give you another extra edge to study, or do they just burn you out? The purpose of these questions is not to provide some scientific breakdown of the ingredients in energy drinks, or their effect on your health. Rather, it is a recommendation of how to properly use energy drinks to give you the studying advantage, not burn you out.

WHAT’S THE POINT?

The bottom line is that energy drinks, when consumed in moderation can be helpful for short term, major events, such as final exams. Why? Because energy drinks help stimulate and increase brain activity.  Guarana and caffeine are the important stimulant ingredients. Temporary energy jolts can be quite useful for getting several solid hours of studying in. However, the “crash,” you incur when the drink wears off is simply unavoidable.

HOW WILL I KNOW WHEN IT’S THE RIGHT MOMENT?

Timing is everything. Your best bet is to drink a few energy drinks when you begin to crack open your books about three hours before the exam. This will allow you to accomplish several hours of productive studying and take the exam before your energy buzz wears out. After you rocked the exam you will finally be able to recharge the batteries and bring yourself back to neutral. As easy as it sounds you must be careful not to get the energy jolt too early, leaving you groggy come exam time. It is also a good idea to learn your energy drink tolerance before exams week. Too much may leave you with a headache and jitters.

HEALTH EFFECTS

The bad rap energy drinks often get is the result of habitual consumption for the purpose of mental and physical stimulation. A perpetuating cycle of energy drink dependence will interfere with your sleep schedule, create severe exhaustion, or lead to health problems.  There are cases out there of energy drinks leading to heart palpitations and increased chance of heart disease. Like smoking, energy drinks are not the best long-term investment out there.

Energy drinks as a whole are not good for you, but there is a time and a place for everything…. it’s called college. Next time you realize at two in the morning you have an exam in six hours, crack open an energy drink to help get you through the night. Keep in mind you are not in the minority here. Gotta love college.

Phase I: Office Hours

Professors have office hours.  Going to see a professor during office hours shows that you actually care about the coursework and you are willing to put in extra time to excel in the course.  Therefore, seeing your professor for five minutes after class won’t help the same way that an office visit will.

Phase II:  The Set-Up

When visiting your teacher, you need to keep in mind that progessors have heard every and any excuse.  I assure you, if you visit your professor and give some sappy story, they’ll be able to see right through it.  While you’re in their office, ask some questions about the material because “you have been trying so hard to do well and not getting some of the material is driving you crazy.”  Furthermore, make sure that you express that you like this course and you are trying hard to do well.  I even recommend telling them that you have a tutor because it shows how hard you’re trying to do well.  Take responsibility for bad grades that you’ve had in the past.  Nobody likes excuses, especially a professor that has heard dozens every semester.

Phase III: The Follow-Up

Follow-up with an e-mail AND stop by the professor’s desk after class the next day.  A simple “thanks again for being patient and taking the time to help me” will suffice.  If you are desperate, this is where you would sneak in an excuse like “it’s my fault because I was forced to miss class for work one day and have been playing catch-up ever since.”  In doing all of this, as gay as it sounds, you’re building a small emotional bond with your professor.  You’re not going to be “the kid whose grandfather could have died”, you’re “a good kid, who is responsible and trying very hard”.

Keep in mind: Most professors will not say “I’m going to bump you up because I understand.”  However, I assure you that when they approach your name when it is time to submit finals, your score will be rounded up.  It may be from an F to a D.  Maybe from a D to a C.  The point is, it is up to you to do well in class, but if you’re near the border of effing it up, royally…there is still hope…if you play your cards right.

I. This is my last chance to party my ass off before I have to get a summer job.

II.  How the hell is my procrastinating ass going to study for finals.

There are various methods on how to study effectively.  Were going to break it down for you into the 4 different types of studiers, and the best musical remedy for those types.  Leaving you plenty of time for thought # 1 above.

Exhibit A: The “Silent” Type

We will begin with the “silent type”. This elite group of studiers needs no noise. They need the utmost silence and tranquility in order to effectively get done what they need to do. They know that if there were a television, radio, or laptop in front of them, they would find themselves enthralled by those vices. Ironically enough, these fucking bastards will be damn sure to read out loud in a damn college library (sometimes while covering their ears), which negates the concept of silence completely.

Exhibit B: “The White Noise Type”

They are unbiased, undifferentiated, and non-judgmental to any type of noise. Genres of music and preferences of noise go completely out of the window when it comes to this breed of cat. As long as some type of noise is in the background, it is completely fine. The backdrop accompaniment stimulates the mind to work a little harder. Think of it as it somehow letting you know that you are still alive and your brain is not quite numb as it feels. Sources of this white noise could be a running fridge, television, random music, or whosoever is in your household at the time. Personally, if I’m in a white noise mood, listening to a natural sounds track works really well. Or you can just open your window.

Exhibit C: The Picky Bastards

Third are the “specifics”. They are the once who listen to a specific type of white noise. Genres are another term to use. Even though all of these suggestions all vary with each individual, this seems to be the general consensus with most people. Genres such as hard rock seem to motivate you better than metal. Personally; I have found the song Aqueous Transmission by Incubus (this song is considered to be soft rock) very helpful in times of stress. Rap and hip-hop, in the most general sense, has that same effect as hard rock does. I’ve never heard of someone who listens to club music or techno during studying, so I am assuming it is not effective. If you have rap instrumentals or acapellas from you favorite artists and musicians, go right ahead. Light jazz music also does wonders as well, because it creates that soothing environment. (Greatly needed during this time of year)

Exhibit D: The “Classics”

Last but not least are the “classics”. Classics are the ones who indulge into classical music. There have been tests done with lab mice and it were the ones who were exposed to classical music who finished their mazes the fastest. Classical music speeds up the processes in your brain, plus, there are no lyrics to sit there and sing along to. Anything by Mozart, Beethoven, or Bach (which is proven to be the most successful and effective) should suffice. For a more modern approach, listen to just about any movie score if you cant seem to relate to the throwback feeling of listening to classical music. The Dark Knight OST by James Newton Howard and Hans Zimmer (who also did the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy, Lion King, Gladiator, and Simpsons Movie) is a good pick if you need a couple songs to start.