Have a clingy girl on your hands (and maybe other body parts)? We asked our relationship correspondent how to deal with this situation from a girl’s point of view…
Ok there could be a number of reasons behind this. Maybe she’s insecure about herself; or maybe she’s just REALLY into you and doesn’t realize what she’s doing. If your girl feels like she’s not getting enough attention, she may start to think that she’s not good enough, and if given the opportunity, you may stray. If you never reinforce the fact that you’re totally into her, she’ll take every guy’s night out and Facebook message to mean that you’re looking for someone else. I’m not saying you have to shower her with gifts and profess your love every minute (honestly, that may freak her out even more lol and if it doesn’t, then you have bigger issues to deal with). Throw her a compliment every once in a while, text her just to say hi, try to pay attention to the little things (ex. show her that you noticed her new haircut). By showing her that she’s on your mind, she should ease up a little bit.
Has she told you about an ex that cheated on her? If so, then she’s gonna be on her guard. She’s been hurt before, and she’s probably trying to make sure that it doesn’t happen again. If this is the case, you have to talk to her. Let her know that you understand how she feels and that she has nothing to worry about. She has to trust you. If she can’t do that, then maybe she isn’t the right girl for you.
Are you her first real boyfriend? If so, she may not realize that she’s being clingy. She doesn’t understand the boundaries yet. Let her know that while you love spending time with her, it’s important that you don’t neglect your other relationships. This may seem counter-productive, but invite her one night when you’re hanging out with the boys. After a night of ESPN and XBOX, I think she’ll get the hint that there are more fun ways to pass the time. No offense guys, but I’m sure she’d rather catch a movie with her friends than sit around and listen to you go on and on about your fantasy football team. Encourage her to plan time with her girl friends. Its healthy to spend time apart, and when you eventually plan something together, it will be that much more exciting.
Bottom Line:
Be honest with her, and reassure her. A little bit of jealousy is healthy, but if she takes it ti the extreme, its probably not the best relationship to be in. No matter how much you tell her, she has to realize for herself that she’s being needy and possessive. Sometimes time apart is the only way to paint a clear picture.
For more on dealing with clinginess, we found this site to be the most useful.
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It’s this simple people… Women = Crazy. that’s all you need to know and you’ll be fine.
Amen! Stage 5 clingers are the worst. They so damn sensitive, too.
I would just like to say that men can be just as clingy, if not more at times than women. It all comes to this: men=clingy+jealous+stalking. Men are what makes a woman crazy in the first place. I’ve had to deal with so many cling-ons who practically cry when you dump them. They whine that they will back off, yet when given the chance, they cling. Good for the goose AND the gander!
Hey deb,
You are definitely right on that one. What do you think is the best way to off-set that?
Ideally, the person who does NOT have the stronger feelings should probably set the tone of any relationship. This way, nobody is getting sick of each other, and it probably prevents the infatuation stage.