This is a guest post from Pete Puma, who lives ToTheChest.com. Let us know what you think and shoot us an e-mail and let us know what you think of the post.
I’m sure you dudes are sick of hearin’ from all the chicks you know about how much of a jerk-off Tiger Woods is. My first instinct is to be pissed off at the chicks for makin’ us listen to them ramble on about how much of liar and cheat he is. But then I get to thinkin’. Those chicks are just doin’ what chicks do. They all like to run their mouths about junk they think they know somethin’ about. Fact is, it’s not their fault, cause chicks don’t have idea one about how every dude’s brain works. But it’s not cause no one’s told ‘em or that they don’t see it every day. They just don’t wanna believe it.
From day one, male brains were programmed to “plant their seed,” their awesome genes and whatever, in as many hotties as they could. How many dude lions are in a pride? How many chick lions are there? And what do the male lions do to the lion cubs some other male lion made? They kill their asses, that’s what. I rest my awesome case. So, for dudes, it’s always been about bangin’ as many chicks as possible and that’s not ever gonna change.
Is Tiger an a-hole cause he cheated on his totally awesome lookin’ wife? Hell, no…no matter what your girlfriend says. Tiger’s an a-hole for gettin’ caught and remindin’ chicks about crap we don’t want ‘em thinkin’ about; not to mention makin’ us listen to ‘em all blabber on about it. Cause a chick who knows that all dudes are programmed to bang everything that moves probably isn’t gonna be jumpin’ into the sack with your horny ass. Babes wanna believe that you think they’re “the one” cause that’s how they’re programmed: to stick with a single awesome dude and be that dude’s personal baby-makin’ machine.
Guys put a ton of effort into convincin’ hotties that they’re lookin’ for a long-ass relationship, love, and snugglin’ while watchin’ some lame romantic comedy or whatever. We know it’s all cause we’re just tryin’ like champs to score…but the chicks don’t know that. Dickwads like Tiger, who aren’t nearly careful enough about hidin’ their dudeness, clue chicks in and make gettin’ laid tougher on the rest of us…and that’s totally not cool.
So, what’re we gonna do about all this crap? Dudes, we gotta do a better job of hidin’ our need to bang multiple chicks, and we gotta be better about lyin’ to get out of it when we’re close to bein’ caught. Fact is, I wouldn’t even be writin’ this article if Tiger hadn’t been such a careless douche.
Here’s the deal: when we’re talkin’ to hotties, we gotta act like Tiger’s the dirtiest, low-down a-hole ever. We gotta try extra-hard to convince hotties that not all dudes are constantly lookin’ to score. And we gotta spread the word that the chicks are on like a defcon-5 lookout for cheatin’ dudes. And remember: all this extra effort you gotta put in is Tiger’s fault…and that’s why you should hate his ass.
Keep on pumpin’
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